Issue with a friend

[IanH]

First may I say a big thanks to Michael for everything. I've listened to effortless success cd's loads of times now and since i've just had pretty much the best couple of months of my life so far. Can't quite get over it and some how think it's a coincidence or something.

Anyway, i'm having an issue with a friend whom i've known for a long time. To cut a long story short, I became good friends with his girlfriend and found out they were having issues in their relationship. So in my usual helpful way I tried to help her understand him, thinking that this would help. Unfortunately, this just made things worse as anything I said got reported back to him and so he became very angry towards me. I work with him, so we couldn't avoid each other and he was generally cold towards me.

It took all my effort to talk to him to assure him that i realised that i'd made a mistake and that I would not be getting involved in the future. In his usual way, he said it's ok and to forget about it all. The relationship got back to normal, but I could still he didn't like me interacting in any way with his gf. So i decided to take the big step and ignore her to the point where she demanded to know why I was. I just made an excuse and that was that.

However i was round their place at the weekend and had a night in. She said some rather flirty things towards me while he was there. I felt dead uncomfortable and so did he. Anyway for the last 3 days at work he's been cold towards me again, so it feels like I am right back to that unpleasant time again. Problem is that I don't KNOW that this is why he cold. It might be just that he's having a bad week.

The worst part about this is that my mind becomes suddenly flooded with so many negative images and ideas about the situation to the point where it feels like the whole office is in on it. I tell myself that this is absurd, but it does little to help. The truth i have created in my head becomes rock solid and i'll pick up any little thing and add it as 'evidence' to the truth. I try to put a different perspective on it, but the alternative view just doesn't seem to 'feel' right.

[peterblythspain]

Hi You could try an exercise    (gauge feeling level 1 to 10 first 1 none 10 intense etc)of closing your eyes and covering the two people in flowers of love and understanding more and more flowers more and more .then swish and open eyes........... and re gauge feeling has the bad feeling gone ??


also you could detach from them for a while as you have tried to put things right so you say.so maybe they need some nlp.but let them find that themselves

if things dont improve at work then treat them differently so work is work outside work is a different issue
work have proceedures for dealing with issues ? if your an employee

good luck
peter