Fear / phobia

[Michelle Young]

In some respects i feel ashamed to admit this but i have a phobia. I have found myself back to square one, i was supposed to be at a friends this weekend in jersey, after a short 2 hour flight. Why am  i not there? cause i never got on the plane. I was supposed to fly out this am, but last night i panicked and cancelled.
I am fed up with this controlling my life, i am fed up with having to take so many drugs when i fly that i lose a lot of my memory from at least 24 hours after taking the drugs as the amount of sedatives i need to take before boarding a plane is huge.
I have had quiet a few people with a great amount of nlp experience work with me on this phobia, i have also had TFT and EFT done.
i just keeping asking myself why
thats when i have stop the other internal dialouge of me arguing with myself that i should know better.
I am stunned that i am sat here and not at my friends.
There has to be a way, there has to be a answer. i want to be able to think of going away as something to look forward to, not look at it with panic as i think of the flights. I have had enough.

I am open to all views

Michelle

[pmattingly]

Hi Michelle,

I can see how you would feel frustrated. However frustrating it is, there may be some comfort in knowing that 'irrational' emotional responses are quite common.

Obviously asking yourself 'why' hasn't got you the result you want. So how about asking 'how'? I would hope that some of the NLP people you worked with would have explored 'how' you make this response happen. Just because what they did hasn't worked for you yet doesn't mean that NLP, EFT or TFT can't solve it. A different approach, strategy or method frpm within those fields could do it for you.

I don't know if you want to get into that on a public forum. I do have a good deal of experience doing changework, I'd be happy to discuss it with you publically or privately. A place to start might be with a list of what hasn't worked so far.

Alternatively, ask yourself, is/was there ever a time when my fear is/was less? What was different about that time? What did you think, feel or do that was different to what you're doing now?

I say that simply because I posed that question to someone who was a smoker. She thought she smoked 30 a day every day, but found she actually smoked less on any day that she practised meditation. So I just invited her to up the amount of meditation she was doing, with very positive results. Sometimes just making a connection like that is enough. Not always, but at least sometimes.

Hope that helps,

Phil

[Jay Budzynski]

Hi Michelle

I hope you don’t mind my gun oh approach, and have a go, at kicking the crap out of your fear/phobia.

As this is in written form, then I have a number of limitations, the main one being that I can’t slap you, when you get into an unremorseful state, oops, what I mean is read your body language and kinaesthetic cues, so I will have to cheat, and bypass, a number of set protocols.

What I would like you to do if you would, is think about a number of really positive times that you have had in your life time, at least 3 yet up to seven, and what I would like you to do is put them in chronological order.

Now what I would like you to do is, think to your last birthday, and you one before that and so  on, till you was say 7 years old, or so. And now do the same for the other direction, from where you are now, and till your next birthday and five years from now and 10 years and way, way in to the time to come, 35 years from now, and you only need have a vague sense of where your time lines are.

Now going back to your positive memories, think about the first one, and in as much detail as you can, relive and feel see, and hear, all that good stuff going on, and what I would like you to do, when you have it at it’s peek, is press your index finger and thumb together, and if you would use your none-dominant hand, that would be fantastic.

Now if you would spend just a little time, getting this really good state, by pressing your finger and thumb together,  a few times and building it up, by making it bigger and brighter, and stepping into the feeling, once you get really good with that one, go on to the next and repeat the same thing over and over again until you have, got all 3-7 positive states anchored to the finger and thumb trigger.

Now I would like you to just play along with this just for a little while, as I am missing out a few parts, from the normal way of doing this, so a level of ambiguity, will be and is present, now we could do it the other way, yet that would mean, I would have to slap you about some, yet as your not playing for that then we will just have to do this cheating thing.

So go forward in time say 35 years, and as you get to that point, press your finger and thumb, and allow them good feeling to enter that time, and fill that time with all that wonderful and create energy, and at the same time, feel deeply calm and safe, and slowly, come back day by day, week by week, month by month, allowing this deep calm to come back, with you only as you, bring it back it gets stronger and strong, so you have a overwhelming sense of wellbeing, and deep, deep clam, yet I want you to go past the here and now and go back in time taking, all this wonderful energy with you, and take it back to a time before, you ever had any of this, and you know what this mean, then a little faster, go from where you are back there, and come forward in time, and as you go through this, press your finger and thumb, together, as times just before, and after any negative event, and allow each change, to roll on through your future and past, in only the ways, that allow you to be in control, balanced and as you place this new set of feeling in front of, anything that as and used to get in the way, you can notice, that deep sense of wellbeing and clam running through and in ever, time and place that you have ever needed a new resource, its all ready their, now run through this faster and faster, and you might be delighted as just how easy, you can change now, and as you repeat this any number of times, see your self being with whom ever you want to be with, with ease and a sense of deep clam. 




Repeat this number of times, slowly at first, then as fast as you can consciously keep up. You will only make all and only the right changes, that work for you, both at a conscious and, other than conscious level.

[anna]

Is this the same Michelle that flew to Austria last Christmas, and enjoyed it so much that she then proceeded to take more internal flights while there?

I wonder if you can go back in your mind and remember how you did that, and as you do, tune in to your body, you can become aware of how you create those good feelings, that empowered you, (create a strong Anchor) pay attention now to how your internal dialogue supported you, turn the volume up (anchor again) take your time to be fully associated with what you see, feel and hear. Go thought your positive movie as many times as you need to, making sure to anchor those positive memories, feelings and dialogue. When you are ready you may want to play a movie of a future trip that you will book. Take all your positive learning’s with you.

Michelle, You posted on the old genius forum the strategy you used to do this, I tried to find this for you, as I thought it may help you to re read your post, which was full of excitement, I think it was posted under nlp, which I was unable to access, if it would help, you could ask Michael if it is possible to retrieve it. Just a thought.

One last thing “tell me you Love me” (remember!)

Miss you loads

Namaste

Anna

[Rikki147]

Hi Michelle,
I am a newcomer to this forum but i would, if you don't mind, like to add my suggestion to this matter. I noticed a quote in your post that read:

 "i want to be able to think of going away as something to look forward to, not look at it with panic as i think of the flights."

You wrote that you 'look at it with panic' as if your mind is still playing a 'mental horror movie' that is almost re-building the fear everytime you feel you are past it. My suggestion would be to notice what images, movies you see when the fear arises and treat them with classic NLP movie reversal, or shrink down, black and white etc.

Hope this helps

Rikki