called Michael yesterday

[brendashenda]

Got the nerve up to call the show yesterday....surreal!  Michael was great.....and I say, very intuitive on 3 points.  Very cool.  It was very interesting how what he said sunk in during the next few hours.  I realized in respect to my writing/counselling issue, I was being very much like a frustrating client I have.  She keeps getting 'off the wagon' with her eating and wants to talk and talk about why she's off, instead of just getting back on.  So I will keep on writing and counselling.  But next up is the fear of not being able to get through resistant people.  I feel like a failure when I can't reach them.  How do other coaches deal with this?  Also is the fear of too much time commitments.  I have another full time job and twins and house care......combined with feeling I'll commit to a seminar or client and then not have the clarity that day to help them.

any help is appreciated    Brenda

[peterblythspain]

Hi Brenda yes, i heard you  on the radio to one of the  best coach?s in the universe ,well done for the courage to call, i listen in spain, try letting go of the resistance and know there are many more people in the world than the resistant ones ...........
i am going through a similar thing trying to assist the launch of www.theboothbyinstitute.org  in the what one person can do project as i call it.............being a retired cop i know a few chiefs that used to be my colleges lower in rank, and they are the worst to get even a reply to an e mail from etc
so do you know what ......stuff them i shall find a way independent of them for funding ............Ha!!

try that

love light and blessings

[brendashenda]

Hi Peter....thanks for your reply.....I just read your email again and saw the line 'let go of your resistance'  in more than one way.  I need to let go of my resistant client......it goes nowhere.  As for mine.....I think maybe it gets to a part where the effort required is too much....with my life.  Full time job....kids.....housework.....But I will persist!! 

Good luck with your new website!

Brenda

[peterblythspain]

Hi Brenda one of bill cummins suggestions in the what one person can do system is to take 15 mins each morning before anything else and just thank god your alive .........have a cup of tea read radio etc behind a closed door in your space and reeeeeeeeeelax...yes you can do this its your care of the souls right of life ......even 10 mins is good regardless of kids work etc ............jut get up 10 kmins earlier or stay in bed 10 mins more -----------------everyone can get 10 mins.!!!!!
love light and blessings peter
try it

[brendashenda]

Hi Peter....thanks for that....I'm pretty good at taking those small bits for myself....and I work fulltime so lunchtime and breaks are valuable parts of my day....I go for a walk daily...I read...I go for a walk with a neighbour many nites......but getting my book writing done isn't as easy in those small increments....I can't seem to get my head in gear that quick.

what is your website about?

Brenda

[LGradinger]

Hi Brenda,
I am curious how old your twins are?  I am asking because the issue of "feeling like a failure when I can't reach them" is something we parents (I have 20 year old twins and a 22 year old) get alot of practice at when the kids are tweens and teens.  When we judge our effectiveness or successes/ failures as parents by our ability to "reach them" (in any visible way) we are unhappy, mad, frustrated and not helping anybody.  In short, parents of teens learn "it's not about me" repeatedly.  Getting this in a deep way allows us to surrender to this phase of parenting and figure out what we can do (love unconditionally, accept and consult on important issues rather than trying to manage them which is the opposite of surrendering).  So, with empathy and understanding of what you describe (having been there with clients, children, siblings) I would encourage you to let your client own her own problems.  Then you can take a more humble and open approach to her (and maybe, in turn, to yourself) and help her figure out what is likely to happen if she keeps only talking about falling off.....and if she is OK with that, then maybe that is enough for her.  If she can just recognize she is making a choice by not getting back on the wagon, you will have helped her change her life.  Good Luck.  Lori

[brendashenda]

Hi Lori.....my twins are almost 7.....good perspective....I have that feeling now with them at 7....they frequently tune us out .....getting ready, making transitions....and they have bathroom issues.....and yes, when I can't reach them, I do feel emotions about that too.  The message of  'it's not about me'  seems to be coming up a lot with me....my coworker answers me with that alot (in good humor) ..'it's not all about you Brenda'  haha..... I try and pull back and let them be...but there are places where I don't know where to draw the line....they need to go to the bathroom....they need to go to school, so I can go to work in the morning.....and my husband and I see the irony in how hard it is to motivate them when we ourselves are doing that with our career passions as well. 
To let them own there own problems (encompassing clients and kids etc)....oh yes, I have in the past had a worse tendency to take on other people's problems......it was this resistant client that made me finally see how much I invest.....where others themselves aren't even investing the time in themselves.....hmm....and when I do it, I'm not investing in myself, am I.   
wow.  I really appreciate your letter Lori....thank you.
Brenda

[peterblythspain]

brenda i wrote my book as on my site......not an advert
the thing to do to write is  enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy it   it then becomes fun not a dilema or task ..i should do it !!!!! etc
get writing...................
peter