I have special boxes for each member of my family - the trick is they are only allowed one box!
Terri

Can you scan in these paper memories so that the images still make you feel good but take up much less space?  Perhaps making a slideshow of them in a way that makes you feel empowed by the love you have experienced?

Ask her what she does to overcome the anxiety - have her remind herself of times she has successfully done so and have her acknowledge herself for that and she will see she already has the skills but forgets them from time to time.

Jay you are amazingly helpful - what a gift to have you in the forum!

Terri

As for their help! Tell them you are making a goal to stop complaining and ask if they will "catch" you when you are and bring it to your attn.  It will make them realize how much it is happening and if you join them for one comment then you are forced to correct yourself and change the subject and you are not judging anyone else just improving yourself
Terri

Have you ever felt on top of the word and full of confidence? can you name ten times in your life you have felt that way? Is that feeling any less real then the lack of confidence and self esteem.  Perhaps your judgments of yourself are inaccurate and certainly they are not useful!  I'd love to see some of the stuff you've done - feel free to email me direct at terri@geniuscatalyst.com.
It wouldn't hurt to list  a hundred times when you did something a little bit amazing

Terri

All i know in raising two is the best piece of advice is to think of them as two year olds having tantrums and needing limits - never seems so hard to not take it personally that way. 
Also keep a qtip in your pocket QTIP Quit taking it personally - a good reminder
Terri

Can you take a sabbatical or an extended vacation?  Must you try on the coaching hat full time?
Can you make it part of what you do now?

Here's to flirting and dating!

Terri

Martial arts can make you feel better in many ways the discipline and the feeling of control over your world when it seems you are at the mercy of another.  Keep just enough of the thoughts to keep you safe and discard the rest for what they are - noise.

love

Terri

"is everything is going perfect, shortly everything is going to be really bad"

if that is so then conversely if everything is really bad then shortly it will be perfect!

doing proofs is great - if you are not confident list 10 times in your life when you were and you have proof that it is not so 

Terri

Would it help to choose to rebel against procrastination?  A true rebel doesn't like to be controlled by anything right?  That habit is not YOU - it is simply a habit that makes you feel comfortable - it takes 21 days to break a habit? You have 30!!

hugs

Terri

[What would have to happen in order for me to go through an entire day being at peace without being busy?]

What do I want to concentrate on as far as possibilities today.
My mind says it is impossible for me to go through an entire day
being at peace without being "busy"

What would have to happen in order for me to go through an entire day being at peace without being busy?
I would have to give up the notion that I must be busy and consciously choose to be at peace regardless of what goes on around me.
What would I have to do in order for me to to give up the notion that I must be busy and consciously choose to be at peace regardless of what goes on around me?
I would have to set up reminders until I got in the habit of living peacefully and being present in the moment and then practice!
 Am I willing to do that?  If not, what am I willing to do?"
I am willing to set up reminders and practice and see what happens.

Sending Prayers for peace your way.  Finding out information about your health does not change how your health is - it merely lets you play a more active role in improving it.
You can do hard! 
Terri

Good for you!! 
I wonder if Michael's list of 100 actions that would get you one step closer to your dream would be helpful here?  It really opened up my mind to how much I COULD do to improve things for myself during the Creating the Impossible Challenge.
Terri

Let Michael's tip serve as a guideline to the game. I look forward to playing with you - Terri


Are you a dream killer or a possibility person?

I had always assumed I was a possibility person, and in many ways I am - after all, I've coached and taught tens of thousands of people how to make their dreams come true.

But yesterday, I was thinking about some of my own dreams and realizing that with myself, I was acting the part of the dream killer, developing my expertise in seeing excuses as obstacles and practicing my story of why I couldn't have what I want, at least not now, not in this economy, and not given everything else that's going on in my life.  Instead of coming from a place of possibility, I was making choices based on what I thought could happen. I had fallen into the trap of being reasonable, forgetting that, as George Bernard Shaw told us, "all progress depends upon the unreasonable man."

So I decided to immediately stop doing what I was doing (always a good idea when you realize you've been metaphorically hitting yourself in the face with a shovel), and to do something else.

Instead of continuing to relegate my desires into the 'one day/someday' pile, I began going through them one by one and coaching myself in the practice of possibility.

Had you been eavesdropping on the conversation in my head, it would have gone a little something like this...

Coach Michael (CM): What's something that you would love to create in your life?

Michael the Client (MC): Great question - I guess I'd love to create a new home, but it just doesn't feel sensible right now.

CM: Let's save sensible for later.  What would need to happen in order for you to create a new home in the next 90 days?

MC: The next 90 days?  That's way too soon!  And besides, maybe now isn't the time to be spending extra money.  Have you seen the news lately?

CM: Actually, I haven't, but I did hear the football season is about to kick off.  And in any case, you didn't answer my question - What would need to happen in order for you to create a new home in the next 90 days?

MC:  Look, we don't actually need to move - the house we live in now is fine, and it feels greedy to want more.

CM: Got it.  So... what would need to happen in order for you to create a new home in the next 90 days?

MC: Boy, you must really annoy your clients with questions like that... (grumble, grumble)... OK, what would need to happen is that I would I would need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we had the money and we wouldn't be creating any new debt, make a clear decision about buying vs. renting and what to do with our existing home, take into account the kid's schools (since we'd be moving mid-year), find a great place, put in an offer, have it accepted, and sort out the details of the actual move.

CM: Excellent.  Now, what would you need to do in order for all that to happen?

MC: I don't have time to do that - I'm busy enough as it is!

CM: Boy, you must really annoy your coaches with answers like that... (grumble, grumble)... the question wasn't 'do you have time?', 'is it possible?', or even 'do you really want to?'  The question is simply this:  What would you need to do in order to have everything happen that would allow you to create a new home in the next 90 days?

MC: OK, so in terms of actions, I would need to go through the books for the past year and the projections for the next two years.  I'd also want to build in a backup plan in case the projections are off.  Then assuming the numbers all work it would be as simple as calling a real estate agent and beginning to look at properties.

CM: Last question, for now - are you willing to do that?

MC: Actually, yes - that doesn't sound anywhere near as hard as I thought it was going to be!

I was so excited by this conversation that I immediately went through the books and projections and realized that within the next 90 days I'll be able to write these tips from a brand new home - and that I'd only just scratched the surface of what was possible.

So with that in mind, I'd like to invite you to join me in a brand new game for the next 90 days...

1. Each day from now until the 14th of December, choose at least one thing you don't think can happen in your life or in the world, but it would be really great if it could.

2. Ask yourself the possibility questions:

    * "What would have to happen in order for _______?"
    * "What would I have to do in order for _______?"
    * "Am I willing to do that?  If not, what am I willing to do?"

3. Do it!  (Or don't - see guidelines below...)

Here are some additional guidelines I'll be using as I play:

    * Don't worry about whether what you want but think you can't have is large or small.  I used the example of buying a new home but I also played the game yesterday with getting a cup of English breakfast tea in the Phoenix suburb I was visiting (successfully, I might add! :-)

    * Don't worry about whether or not you should have it, deserve it, or even if you really want it.  This is a game about practicing possibility - and just because something's possible doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. This is a game designed for creating greater freedom in your life, not more obligations or busy-ness.

    * Feel free to play with others - ask your friends, colleagues and family these questions and really listen to their answers.  Are they actually answering the possibility questions or are they telling you all the reasons that they can't answer them?

    * Post some of your favorite insights and experiences to the forums  I've created a special section called "The Possibility Game" where you can share your experiences and results as you go - I'll be checking in a couple of times a week and sharing some of my own!

Have fun, learn heaps, and may your fondest dreams come true...

With love,
Michael

awesome!!

So now, I'm 42, 1200 miles away from those who hurt me, have forgiveness and love from/for those I love (and even some sort of care for those I don't love). And I'm not just logically safe, I'm actually feeling emotionally safe and secure for the first time in my life.

Eileen

Eileen
Thrilled that you are doing so well and have found your answers.  Thoughts and Love were coming from the group along your way. Love and Peace,
Terri

Awareness is curative.  I am amazed how easily I fall into this trap of trying to determine what and how and not working on action.  Any other thoughts anyone?

Hi Terri,

do you already have good news for us?

I'm about to finish my website and put a link on it.

Thank you,
Anja

The affiliate program has been set up complete with tutorial - you can access from home page of geniuscatalyst.com!

Great that you have identified this as a challenge to overcome!!

I firmly believe that because of this attention to forgiveness, it can place the victim under a huge amount of pressure that they basically dont need.

For people to suggest a victim to give forgiveness, is asking for every person in prison to be pardoned. Please air with caution when you suggest forgiveness. Its one thing to forgive ourselves when we are victims, its a very different thing to suggest to forgive someone whom chose to commit a crime by abusing a child, most of the time these people do not deserve forgiveness. Soem people would like to be able to forgive to move on, some would pefer to continue to hate the person, or to feel numb etc.

Michelle,
You make a good point and I certainly didn't mean to imply that anyone should be pardoned- what they did was reprehensible.  I have never found it helpful to hold onto hatred whether the person I hated deserved it or not - it took a toll on me. Perhaps forgiveness was the wrong word to use here. I do think people handle this differently and just wish all those who have had to handle such a thing peace.
Terri

Love comes in many forms - you can certainly love a best friend.  You can also acknowledge to a best friend that sometimes those feelings get muddled but that you value the friendship and don't want to lose that.  It could be just a natural urge to take care of and love someone who means alot to you. Don't hesitate to let her know you love her as one of your closest friends - if you are expressing that love perhaps it would not be so confusing and you may find that other desires go away.

I think you are very courageous to post this.

I'm sorry that this happened to you and I am impressed that you have overcome it.

I see value in therapy if it is not centered all in your past, but more focused on improving your future. 

Be courageous as you do what you need to do for closure, forgive cause it hurts you more than them, and realize you have choices as an adult that you didn't have as a child.

Thoughts and Prayers,

Terri

Though I certainly can't definitively say why - it sounds like this has become a pattern and maybe you are beating everyone else to the sabotage!

The good news is that this doesn't have to continue!  You get to choose to share this goal with everyone here and take massive action and make it come true and change this pattern!

You can do it!

This has to be the best time management tip ever. 
What do you do to get the most out of each minute every day?
I think tomorrow I will:
spend some time planning
spend some time on others
spend time on something new
and be fully engaged!

Hi. Viv,
Thanks for your input. I was very good at sports when I was studying. I am still a keen sportsman as in playing rather that watching it on T.V. Ultimately the purpose of my blog would be to monitize it and have a second income from it.  Talk to you soon.
Thanks,
Palidadi

How are you planning to monetize the blog?  Are you going to have information that is only accessible to members?  Are you creating a following which you will upsell products to?  If you lay out the process of what you want to "sell" in the end then it should help you determine who your target audience is and what they connect to.

Maybe something like what I wish they had taught me in the first 12 years of school?  It can be described as these are things I learned since then that could have really helped knowing earlier.  If it's stuff you learned - they can take it or leave it. Additionally - a website tied into it could get others to share their experiences since formal schooling and what they wish they knew then.
Best Wishes!
Terri

would love to see pics!

For those of you who like the forum:

Would you mind putting a note here in writing to serve as a testimonial.  At times when the forum is slow I could use these testimonials to remind the rest of the list of how beneficial it can be.  The more specific you can be on what it has done for you the better and thank you so much for taking the time.   Thanks to those who have already responded!!

Terri

P.S. I agree with Tom that this is the best the forum has been in a while and would appreciate any ideas on what we can do to keep it an active community.  What would it take to make you interested in checking in and posting at least weekly?

HALT - I had forgotten that - maybe we each out to wear a wristband!

?Self-esteem? is just a story we tell ourselves about our value and worth in the world being dependent on our performance. In fact, your value and worth in the world are a given, and have nothing to do with what you do or do not do with your life. They are your birthright, and no amount of success or failure in life will make you any more or less worthy of love and respect.

how true.

[Are you ready to create the impossible?]

Are you ready to create the impossible?

Join me in the launch of his new interactive coaching program on creating the impossible.

July 1st to July 30th

A 30 day project challenging YOU to CREATE THE IMPOSSIBLE

?So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable,
and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.?

Listen to an interview with Michael about this new program! Click here (mp3)

Choose an ?impossible? project to take on this July -
anything from writing your first novel to losing 30 pounds to earning $50,000!

Here are the only prerequisites for your project:

1. You must believe you have a less than 50% chance for success in the 30 days of the program.

2. You must be so passionate about what it is you want to create that you will be glad of any time you spend invested in creating it, regardless of how things turn out!

My ?impossible goal? is to enroll 1000 people onto this program by the 1st of July, and there are three ways you can sign up:

1. If you are a member of the Solutions Caf?, you will be able to sign up for free via a link on the caf? front page.

2. If you are a member of Steve Chandler?s Club Fearless, you will receive an e-mail with special joining instructions later this week.

3. If you are not a member of either the Solutions Caf? or Club Fearless, you can sign up for the program for $99 by signing up below.

By joining this program you will receive:

• A downloadable jumpstart workbook on the 1st of July
     
• Audio messages each day throughout the program that will encourage and guide you towards the creation of your ?impossible? project.
• Each week, there will be special ?action days? where you can go online or phone into a tele-bridge and use the energy of the group to get yourself into action and build momentum towards making your dream a reality.
• You will be allowed access to a private online forum throughout the month, which I will be an active member of helping to answer any questions you have and unstick your stuckness if you find yourself struggling to move forward!

To become one of the first to sign up and begin creating the impossible, click below.

New girl - it is $99.00 US 

Terri Carey
Assistant to Michael Neill
Geniuscatalyst.com

This is a novel idea.  First trying to come up with what has worked well for me in the past:
 Stating the way I like to work right at the beginning of a relationship.
 Turbo sessions of house cleaning for an hour at a time.
 Envisioning my teenager as a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum so I do not take things 
 she says personally.
Now how can I apply these things in other situations?
 Stating what I expect and my preferences in all my relationships.
 Other turbo cleaning sessions on things like email- perhaps exercise.
 Envisioning unhappy clients as children throwing temper tantrums so I do not take things they
 say personally.
 Would be interested to see if any others are willing to share what works for them.
 

I think our exercise for the week should be to read that story to someone who needs to hear it.
Thank you Michael.

ok After doing the tip I forgot most of what was brown in the room, including some major things.  So I wondered what would happen if I tried this in other ways..
What if I looked for happy people?
What if I looked for moments of kindness?
What if I assumed everyone had good intent?

It is true as I wrote these things down that most fell into the two categories - either it said something about me I didn't like - at least I thought it would; or I used the unhappiness to motivate myself.  It is very scary to give up being unhappy.  Had an odd thought on this - I am a very emotional person so if I give up being unhappy - does that make me not "me" ?  And then in a moment of light I wondered aloud that - isn't what makes me "me" a series of design choices I make? And can't I design myself to be happy?
Very thought provoking for me.

I think you got it!  Totally interesting to see things like that from different perspectives!

Tom, I think you were fearless for posting regardless! Riff, Wow! great way to use the forum! 
I like the way you broke them down into much easier things. When I have big goals sometimes they seem so overwhelming. but if I can find one thing to do every day that moves me in the direction of the big goals - all seems possible. 

So admit out loud what I am committed to huh?
I am committed to sabotaging myself when it comes to weight loss.
I am committed to eat for emotional reasons.
I am committed to keeping myself too busy to have down time.
wow!  Anyone else brave enough to post yours?

I was surprised to see how many things I do come from fear- not only the things I do but the words I speak.  I can see where this would take some practice and what a huge difference it could make.

Delayed gratification is something I have wondered how to teach my children.  I would love to learn more - will look into the resources Michael suggested. Anyone else have any further ideas on this?

Interesting when you think about how many maybe's there are in your life - I had a friend help me identify some of mine.  I was amazed at how many I actually had made a decision on at least for now and just hadn't released them from my maybe list yet.  Anyone want to share any of theirs?

I learned so much!  And this was just the introduction!!

I think my exercise for the week will be trying to find problems or circumstances and recording what the three levels of change might be for each of these problems.

Best of luck to you Michael on your new book! 

Insightful and focused questions
for those who wanted to see it for themselves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn3REgMzK0I

 Another good way to put things into perspective - the power of noticing our thoughts instead of assuming they are facts. Thank you for sharing this exercise - certainly worth a good effort.

Wow!  This is something that had honestly never occurred to me!  When my girls were little I tried to balance all the "Beautiful" compliments with remarks about how smart and kind they were.  It never occurred to me that there was a better way.  I think every parent should read this and every teacher should suggest it to parents!  Learned a lot from this!

The assignment this week was conjugating character traits - Michael used:
    *  I am sparkling; you are unusually talkative; he is drunk.
    * I am righteously indignant; you are annoyed ; he is making a fuss about nothing.
    * I am a creative writer; you have a journalistic flair; he is a prosperous hack.
    * I am beautiful; you have quite good features; she isn't bad-looking, if you like that type.
    * I am religious; you go to church; he plays tennis with the vicar.
    * I have about me something of the subtle, haunting, mysterious fragrance of the Orient; you rather overdo it, dear; she stinks.

What did you come up with?

A great reminder on the process of persuasion!

With all the "bad news" on the economy etc. - it is nice to realize that there is no bad news - it is simply information. How easily we get caught up with concentrating on what we and others perceive to be bad!  It is so easy to forget that we are the creator of our experiences! Thank you Michael for the reminder!

 Interesting thought - I have always had a hard time slowing my thoughts - never thought of it as natural for me at all.  I think the most helpful part is the idea that my thoughts DO slow down at times - when I walk, when I have written them down, by the water, etc.  I guess the next step is to try to duplicate that at other times, or rather NOT to duplicate the hurried thoughts.  Perhaps I should work on the beach!

 I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did. So powerful to take in these inspirational words in a way that touches your soul.  Let us know what you think!