[FOCUS]

Consider this

Can anyone help me get clear on how to make the ideas of being an artist putting out proposals etc (FOCUS) and being rejected yet knowing that I am more likely to be sucessfull if I keep flipping the coin yet I also know that it is not good to keep doing the same actions (FOCUS)  and expecting different results i.e. a yes.



Drop the coin as it's acting more as a distraction, being rejected is part of artist game, so let me tell you own I learnt to juggle, it was about 3 years ago and I came across a juggling set, which consisted of 3 small juggling balls and a how to book, now the book was very simple, and talked about the progression, tossing first of all one ball from hand to hand, and getting use to the way the ball would cross from hand to hand, and land, then it was time to start tossing two balls, so I tossed one then the other, and again, now the first few times I missed catching, so I made a slight adjustment in my focus, and started counting 1 toss 2 toss, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1,2  first slowly then speeding up has my hands learnt where to be, now after a little practice, I was tossing 2 balls, and then it was time to add the 3rd ball, now I made my first attempt and I failed, and my second, and third, fourth, and fifth time I failed for some reason, I just could not make the cascade/juggle work, my hands and brain were missing something, and I kept trying and messing up, and it was frustrating, Now on my book shelf, there was a book called the "Art of Juggling" by Tony Buzan, not really a book about Juggling but about thinking skills, and learning that uses, the idea of juggling as a teaching metaphor, yet it talked about the how to of juggling, and it turned the idea of dropping the ball into a game, and it also covered  the idea of the jugglers box, which is a square with a triangle inside, now the idea is to imagine holding a box, by the bottom two corners, and tossing the balls in line with the triangle, and to help keep time to count each toss, now while all this in place, after a few short runs with the new strategy in place, I was juggling, and it came down to changing my focus, the key is focus.


Jay           

Hi Dan


Would you consider recording your message into a voice recorder and listening to it?

If you don't have a voice recorder you can use a free software @  http://audacity.sourceforge.net/

Now Ask yourself this question, in relation to other people, how do you know what they are thinking about your message? and offer for free coaching? how much of that is a projection? (Stop doing that)

Now rather than point out the thing's that are getting in your way, make an effort and focus and make a list of all the resources, you have and can bring to any coaching session you might do?

Now once you have a list of what you have and can bring to a session, go from there.

NLP as a tool set has two functions, applications to self applications to other, run your own crap through the Meta-Model and pull your own brain farts to bits.

Keep it easy and simple get your messages to more people.


Jay

""How did you trick yourself into doing the boring stuff"" Your brain knows what your up to, so you can't trick yourself, so make them task important and a priority, then look at what your saying, to your brain, not only are your trying to trick yourself, you have assigned it to a "boring" state, what would you need to bring into that part of your task, to make it fun, and easy, or if you ""had it done already"" and you did it from a light hearted place of being, what could you be doing more of, that would make that little effort worth it?

The crude answer to this is sometime we have to get thing's done, so get it done, and then it's not a issue.

Jayx   

As an extension to Lenny's breathing technique if you want to turn off your inner dialogue place your tongue the same way this picture shows. 



If you turn off the inner self crapper voice, you can then have more choice about how you want to feel and engage.

Jx

Hi Anya



Consider this you lived to tell the tail, now just imagine if your thumbs fell off, while you was on the call not only would you have lost your English skills you would have had to buy gloves with out thumbs, and that's tough and even worse than that thumb-less mittens are even harder to buy.

Really though we all from time to time little bumps, it's what makes life so funny and strange and wonderful.


Ask your self this did you get a bit of paper through the door from the government telling you your now on the most wanted list for lake of English skills?  If NO- You need to try harder next time otherwise your fine and It's OK.

Jx     

["that's right"]

Hi Jay,

As I understand it, I put the fear in the hand that is less comfortable and imagine setting it down, is that right?<<<< "that's right"

This seems like it could work for all sorts of fears...unfortunately, I think I feel equally coordinated in both hands, so I'm not sure how to proceed. I have a pretty good body awareness, so maybe I'll notice a difference if I keep paying attention...I'll play around with this to see what happens. It's the process that's works not the means of how you do it>

Thank you!

Read the bold highlights.

"ignore those feelings and thoughts" <<<<<<<Those thoughts and feelings are your safety net your intuition about what is safe and healthy, so for me it has nothing to do with ignoring, yet using your thoughts and feelings as a gage hold them notice what's going on, and once you notice that it's ok, and safe to engage, then you can use those thoughts and feelings as a stepping stone to build your self-esteem, use what there what's easy .

J   

Okay, here's a process for you to practice, if your open to some learning, you need a glass of water or a cup of coffee or tea, pick up the glass or cup, and pay attention to how familiar holding that cup/glass is now take a few sips, and now place it down, let it go, now in a gross way that represents, behaviours that you have been doing and have practised for sometime, you just want to notice how easy that is, how familiar holding and letting the glass/cup is. Now do it with the other hand, and notice the difference, notice how your are having to focus just a little more, how they might be some slight jerky motor-movements because your not used to holding and drinking from that other hand and place the glass/cup down. So here's the thing, just imagine holding onto some of them unsupported aspects- so lets take fear, imagine holding fear in your first hand now place that fear in your other hand, and place it down like you did with the second glass/cup, now repeat that until letting goof the fear is easy, and you practice that with anything that is emotionally  un-supportive Now practice this over and over with as many un-supportive behavioural and emotional representation's as you can find in the coming days until it becomes automatic, which might take 3-11 days the more you practice the fast the the automation will occur.

   
As you can fake intimacy the real difference between fake and real intimacy, is ""permission"" to allow it to be ok, to share with others, what's the smallest thing your willing to share with others, and how easy can you let that go, as you do? just like holding onto emotional cups you can let them go with either hand, and sometimes it will be familiar and sometimes it will need a little more focus.

Jx
 

 

Hi Kathryn


Here's the non psychobabble reply LOL. and set of task to consider, The first thing to consider is to find 3-5 different places where friends and families hang out, so maybe a coffee shop, pizza hut and the food courts in the mall, Next is to spend some time in each of the places just watching and listening all interacting with each other, so the idea is to build a behaviour profile of the attributes you see others doing, so making a set of notes in a little pad, now if you know some of the basics of NLP, there are two pattens the new history generator and the new behaviours generator, taking the ideas that you have made from your tasking notes, you can, use them to create new behaviours and to place skills in your past.

A question I invite you to ask yourself is What has to happen on the inside so you can be at easy in everything you do? and When that happens how easy can easy become?

J

Hi creativist


Everyone's advice seems sensible, yet have you considered maybe just living your life for a few weeks, without doing much other than just being you.

If you have been doing self development for ten years, I can promise you your done, and all you have to do now is just get on with it.

Let me use a crude metaphor- lets say you start doing martial arts your first visit to the Dojo you "know*" very little, your balance is off you have "no* power" in your defence, yet you keep on going, week after week month after month, year after year and slowly your skills increases, soon you move up the ranks and then one day, your a teacher, and then you look back from where you started to where you are, and then you notice that you have come a lot father then you thought.

One of the things we humans are really good at doing is projecting our selves into and on to the things that we do, like you will catch this all the time, like I am a coach, or an NLPer or psychologist, where it fact I am a human being that uses the tools and ideas from coaching, NLP, etc to assist other to reach their goals etc. you see we identify into a set of categories and detach from our humanness, and become a little mechanical, now when we have been saturated in the ideas and concepts of personal development we have a massive array of groups, categories, sorts, frames, evaluations, persona's, labels off all kinds, that we are trying to fit into- and if you do give yourself enough space for incubation and integration, than there is a big chance that your opening, one loop, inside another again and again and again, never giving your body-mind enough time to live in the new learnings that you have been learning.

So maybe just for a little while- just consider enjoying living, and do the simple things in life that allow you to connect and just be you, and you can always return the personal development, after a little while.



J


Just be you.                      

Hi

First have stuff you want to do, second get it done.

If it's important enough for you to get to it, all the motivation and energy will be there, if you doing stuff to make other happy or to try to live up to others expectations, then you might want to consider if that how you want to be living.

We all have responsibilities Family, work, friends etc and each one needs our attention is a number of different ways, if you go with the flow and what make you happiest, you might find you be getting a lot more done than you thought possible.

If your having to force yourself in to doing, thing's outside your general life responsibilities, then, then ask yourself what are you getting out of that, and is it worth it.

Ask yourself what are the differences from the things you have done in the past that you wanted to do and enjoyed doing, and thing's you just did, and did them half heartedly.. what are the mental and emotional differences? and if you had to draw each construct on paper what would each on look like? now of you was then to imagine making each picture life size, and was to first step in the the (-) and think about doing stuff how does that work for you? and what are you noticing in your thinking and feeling? and if you was to step out of that and shake it off, Then step into the (+) and think about doing things, what happens now, what are you noticing in your thinking, feeling and general sense of well being? Now ask yourself this, what are you not thinking about that if you did would give you all the energy and motivations to get things done? then use that as a stepping stone a guide to.......


Jay         

The steamship and Hammer story is also a part of the preference in "Frogs into Princes" By Richand Bandler and John Grinder edited By Steve Andreas-

There is an old story of a boilermaker who was hired to fix a huge steamship boiler system that was not working well. After listening to the engineers description of the problems and asking a few questions, he went to the boiler room. He looked at the maze of twisting pipes, listened to the thump of the boiler and the hiss of escaping steam for a few minutes, and felt some pipes with his hands. Then he hummed softly to himself, reached into his overalls and took out a small hammer, and tapped a bright red valve, once. Immediately, the entire system began working perfectly, and the boilermaker went home. When the steamship owner received a bill for $1,000 he complained that the boilermaker had only been in the engine room for fifteen minutes, and requested an itemized bill. This is what the boilermaker sent him:

For tapping with hammer: .50?

For knowing where to tap: $999.50

Total: $1,000.00

J

 

It's all experience be that real or imagined - let me see if I can show you in a limited way-

I guess you might know of a dog maybe you own one- or maybe you have a friend who does- or maybe a relative it could be a cat or a rabbit yet one that you have seen and maybe petted if all fails it could be on of a TV advert- so you know the dog as a nose, a mouth, teeth, eye, ears, head neck, body, 4 legs, and a tail. now for tense and purposes that's a mental imagine of a dog from maybe some real live experience- now you know the dog has 4 legs- no just for the hell of it what would happen if you added and extra leg?

Now in you mind you have a known dog with 4 legs plus 1 - now make 2 images in your mind of the same dog- the first one normal the other one with the extra leg-

apart from the legs- what are the other differences?

Now think of (A) belief any one will do good or bad it make no differences now go to the website ebay and see if you can buy a that belief or go to walmart or tesco.com or Amazon and just see if you can buy that belief, now if you can I'll quite being a being a coach,  so lets go back to the dog and the legs for a second- so you have a image of a dog one that you know, and you did something in you mind to make it different- the word "mind" and "imagine" are the keys- to this a belief is not a thing it acts like one and feels like one, yet it's a mental-emotional construct and just like adding an extra leg to a imagined dog, if you are able to make a mental construct of a belief even in the form of a metaphor- then you can change it just as easy as you added a extra leg to the dog- and you right beliefs are base on in experience yet if your shown what beliefs are processes of the mind rather than solid real things- then this give most people a more flexible approach in - beliefs happen on the inside not the outside which way to many people tend to forget or miss.

J

What's the differences in the mental constructions of "Will Power" and "Belief" or say of Santa Claus or any other such entity that shares the same built in story line.  - how are they the same how are they different? Now how much "will power" was needed when we were kids to know that Mr Claus changed it's meaning when we learnt what was really going on? If you unpack these mental process you find you can change your beliefs with or with will power- and in as little as a few minutes-

J   

Hi

I have changed some setting on my skype set up so you can have another go at adding me jay.budzynski  thats jay{dot}budzynski all lower case.

Jx

Well something what just jumped out at me - "emotional body writing" now all you have to do is create a way to blend all 3 lol

The Thing is to ask yourself what inspires you in a name?

J

(You say)

"Well, I've learned from looking at enough Psychology that you can't directly 'change your belief'."

Have you every thought of looking outside of psychology for a wider perspective and other ideas?

"Things to consider"

Robert Dilts "Slight of Mouth"
L.Michael Hall "Mindline's"
Jamie Smart's "Belief change cards and audio sets"
Morty Lefkoe   " Recreate your Life" "cognitive re-framing"
Paul Scheele's  "Belief" Paraliminal CD-

J 
 

Hi James


Interesting write up - so you have given us something to think about- so what type of questions should we be asking? How do we know if we are even ready to change our beliefs? What are beliefs? How do they function and protect or limit us? Should we just change our beliefs just because we can? What else has to change? How will changing our beliefs change our relationship(s) to and with in the world? If we change one belief how will that affect other things?

J

Hi

I can also provide us with a chat room or or a members only access point on my blog- http://beyondtrances.com/chat/ its a simple interface- yet its there if needed. we could use http://www.bubbl.us for group brain storming etc.

My preference for personal messaging systems is skype as its more stable then msn and yahoo systems which can be quite taxing at times.

J

I'll be happy to join I think it would be fun.


Jay

Hi

Here's some thing to consider- yes/no signals come from the autonomic response and it's believed they are proceeded from/through "the other than conscious mind"- / subconscious mind, so an other way of using yes/signals is by using a pendulum- now this can be as simple as a tea bag- on a string or a crystal on a chine- and or anything else will do just that- so what you do is hold your pendulum- and in a very clean clear inner voice ask that wisdom inside of you to give you a yes signal- you do this 5-9 time in a row- then you do the same for the no- and repeat 5-9-  times-  now you have sorted out your yes/no start asking yourself yes no questions- as many as you like until you get a sense- of trust in the signals- than use as away to build your intuitions about things- always make the questions yes or no- applicable- and use that as away of making a few choices- very simple things at first- as you need to build trust into it.

J   

I am mostly nice 99.99% time you're all safe lol almost most of the time, it's the moon thing you see or a jaffa cake moon thing- whole moon, half moon, total eclipse-( oldish tv advert) lol gone now I was going to go down the bite me path, yet that might be taken in a counter productive way- so won't do that lol.


Hope you well Michael


J   

I "was" doing a big writing project myself- which I had to restart over because hard-drive failed and stopped working and I lost my zip drive back up all in one week- it was 2 plus years of work, and now I am having to star again, yet as much as losing that work- the goal I have set myself is to write 250-500 words a day every day- for the next 6 months- taking 2 days every 3 weeks to proof read- then I will incubate the script for 2 months- then reread it with fresh eyes and then start to clean it up- and early next year will get it published.

I am just glad I have mind-maps that I can use to recapture about 60% of what I last-

As long as you don't put a dead line to reach your goal of writing "a" book, it really does not matter if you write "while", or after doing your Ph'D.

It's not what you don't do that matters it's what you do do, that gets you to where you want to be.

J

 

So while your thinking that I can't do it, does that stop you from writing? why not keep that thought and write anyway- then you can have both the thoughts of not being able too, and still doing it. like in I think I can't spell the word magic, yet just by doing it I have-

J 

Hiya Maggie


No one is really a coach I mean can you imagine having 6 big wheels and 54 seats glued to your back lol sometime the best learning comes from outside mind set- every ones contribution is of value- no matter what tags we apply to a given group.

J   

Hi Maggie


Crown house publishing and or anglo American books there are sister companies- deal with self-help books so might be worth checking out-  Crown house publishing their website as an outline process of how to submit offers-

There is also the option of self publishing via print on demand  publishers like lulu.com even if you don't opt for the self publication option- checking out lulu and similar sites will give you access to learning about copy rights and intellectual rights, etc which is worth taking the time to learn about-

J

I walk between two worlds one as  a Jedi and one as a fortune cookie- its an interesting balancing act lol   

J

Water has very interesting acoustic set memory abilities- which can be influenced by -emotional intent-  a "form of attunement" so in part water does open some doors- and at the same time there has to be a grounding in reality- so a blending of the cognitive re-patterning and some ideas from the worlds of metaphysics- help to form a synergy- of ideas- and a huge quantum spoon of hypnotic language-

J   

Oh That's an interesting response- my point that was not to shy you away, just to let you know- that there are specific language forms in place- you know if you have a glass of water sometimes if you look at the glass in just the right way, you can't tell were the glass stops being the glass and the water stops being water, yet they share similar qualities- and in sharing these qualities can become one whole, yet the glass in its glass forms has limitations and only holds one form, where the water can fit into any vessel and be in many forms,- and become that which it connects too, let water unlike glass is alive, and flows and adapts and goes to where it needs to most- and just like when we humans learn, we can behave like glass or become playful like water and in that way grow and expand in new ways- because that's the nature of water.

A playful challenge can you spot the sequences- look at the beginning and the ends of lines- and notice the things that are isolated and how things in isolation might connect- to create a new form in and of them selves-

J     


   

Hi Neil

Please be aware that the languaging in my post is very specific and holds other coding protocols for the subjective assimilation- and direction cues-

Be well friend.

J   

Hi Michael





I hope you find my note playful and hopefully helpful or at the very least a mildly amusing attempt at trying to help.

Now I am assuming that your be able to follow along, with this and if something happens it happens and if not then you have lost nothing other than a few minutes of your time, there is a cool process called the mind-sight process or some times goes by the ?name of muscle-speak-mind-speak system? that seems to work really well, I know this, because its something I have been developing for a number of years, now I will share the steps to the basic ?self-applied protocol? yet because its in a written form and I'm not able to manage the re-patterning personally then I am {{not attached}} to it working as well as it can, allow me to just share a working metaphor- of how this works, I am sure you will have heard of the idea of  sympathetic resonance- like if you have a room full of pianos- and you was to hit a key- then all the strings of that same key, will sound off- so the muscles are able to hold patterns- and resonance imprints- so here is something to consider, our body-mind will have a set of time sequences for things to grow, and mend and heal now the part of your consciousness that is known as the gate keeper of the body-mind wisdom- will know that you have a timed imprint for the healing to just get done, as it will.

So here's the steps,

1- "Detach from out come" if it works it works and you can get on, if it doesn't hey sometimes extra time is needed 

2- Focus on a part of your attention on a part of you body that is really comfortable- a place where you can rest one of your palms on ?like your?  upper chest- now rest your hand on the comfortable place and  imagine that the palm of your hand is having a talk with the muscle in your chest- now have the chest muscle talk to the balanced side of your face and have the chest teach the muscles in your palm how to behave in a balanced way-  (this is a living metaphor so how ever you understand that is fine)

3- Have you ever had a paper cut of nicked your self shaving? Your other than conscious mind has a wisdom, and you know time can be looked at like a mental construct- and you know that when we were ?kids? we seemed to heal faster than in other times- like you know- time when you felt at ease and in comfort- in the same comfort that your chest has just shared with the palm of your hand, now list to the palm- and ask it when it as the balanced learning from balanced side of the face- that it can hold and carry that pattern- and now lightly place the palm of the of the out of balanced side and invite the palm to teach the face how to be balanced- and because I know you know how to allow time stand still, you can all that stillness to uptake the relearning and patterning- now sometimes in stillness- there needs to be adjustments to happened in just the right ways- and like the idea of the piano string, the muscles can sing and talk with each other in great detail- learning from each other- and the body-mind is a whole system- so now the chest can talk to the palm and the  balance sides, in that stillness of that time just happens in its own way- now a time out there ? know when it needs to and it can. And as it can it does so- in only the right ways-


4- Gently massage the face- and do a ?yawn-sigh? as a single action- a few times- you might notice a tension release- in the jaw and neck, shoulders, cheeks and forehead and the ?crown of the head?- have a drink of water and repeat the process a few times- making workable adjustment as you need.

Heal fast and in balance. 


Jay

What do you already find enjoyable in the process?

Focus on that- keep in mind its your last year- out side of doing the Ph'D what can you be doing that will bring a little lightness to your days? make a list do them. find things to smile about and remember them times so when you need a lift you can get some good feelings going and carry them with you.

J 

Image streaming is a very simple yet very useful cognitive development process, if you want to learn IS do a google the Name Win Wenger who is the main developer of the process-

This is the basic steps sit down close your eyes, describe (out loud) what you are noticing behind your closed eye lids, at first there will be just morphs of shapes and shadows, yet as the mind slows down, the internal visual system opens up, and more and more thought streams will flow- after enough practice, it can seem like the streams are like waking dreams- as a rough guide give yourself 8-10 minutes for the mind to calm down for the streams to start to flow and another 10-15 minutes to start to build up a series of experiences-

   

Hi Mary


About Don yes his focus is mainly with children- yet from my own personal experience his work, will work just as well with adults- I know this from personal experience- having used many of the strategies to learn how to learn my self- plus a brain is a brain and a strategy is a strategy as long as it does what it says it will do- that what counts.

Jx

Who was you before you had those beliefs? I am guessing you? you was you after you had them beliefs? I am guessing you right? if you changed you beliefs just to see what would happen who would you be? you see your always going to be you not matter what you do or don't believe- and you can also keep your beliefs under the bed in a box so you can get them out anytime you want too just like a pair of (gogo gadget  slippers) with multi functional belief switches- in the heel now- all you do is click them together and choose- OK that happens in my world on good days- yet it could happen the thing is you can test beliefs out- and if you like them there with you- when you need them, and if you want to feel limited and low then you can do that too- theres nothing wrong in how your being in the world, its just how and who you are, yet you can choose to life your game just a little- and all you do is give it a go.

J 

       

from what I am picking up is you are holding the whole goal in mind and that seems to be overwhelming you (thats a guess at best) so now you have your direction, and what you would like start to chunk it down, you made a list, that one step, so what one tiny thing you can do to carry that forward? think in baby steps- and from time to time look out to see that your still going in the direction you want.

J

Interesting idea yet very impractical the way the brain works if you was to spend 5-10 minutes let alone anything longer you would install an even stronger "negative self reference than the one you had before- which from where I am standing would be nothing more than sadomasochistic- plus then you have a commitment then in holding and policing your thoughts for 364 days- which is impractical and would be more harmful over all- the faster way I have come to know in getting (bad) thoughts out of the way is just to let them come up when they do and thank them. there just thoughts nothing more nothing less, do the best you can to be none judgmental about them and they will tend to just stop-  if you going to tell your brain anything, make it at the very least kind- and look after yourself.

J 

Good going now you have a direction you can consider ways in which to make it and keep it fun.


Jx

Do it with a few other things and see, feel do. notice how the change can happen slowly at first and build momentum as you do more and more- and you always have the choice of something else if you like.

J

Just a quick question when you think about your art do you see the finished painting in your minds eye?

Jx

It seems to me like you don't have a struggle  with procrastination- you seem to be doing that pretty well already, I think you have mastered that which, if you think about it, despite its set backs is a really good skill, so how do you do procrastination? meaning if I was going to be you for a day, (I can only do that though if you have big feet) what would I have to be hearing in my head, (telling my self) feeling in my body? and imagining in my head that gets me to not be doing the things I want to? and while you consider that what would have to happen for in inside you mind and outside in the world so it would be ok for you to just for one day only drop your defenses and have a go at something anything new- and knowing you can go right back to doing nothing if you wish?

A student Zen monk was give a challenge by his master- the Master said if you don't move I'll beat you with this stick, and if you do move I'll beat you harder with this stick- what is the student monk to do?

Go check out Don Blackerby http://www.nlpok.com/ his book rediscover the joy of learning has some really good ways of healing ADD theres also some articles worth checking out-


J


By the way the student would grab the stick and beat the master.

Ideas are like boiling rice, the more you input the more you get out- reading is a good start- anything and everything- history, law, science, sports, hobby books, personal development- poetry, just lots of everything-   

Trustthe world is simple can you feel your feet on the floor? notice its holding you when you stand up and walk around, its a fact the world is right there supporting your feet- trust in people takes a little time you have to test the waters- and create the boundaries that allow you, and them to shine, so again, its about being aware of how you are feeling around others, if it feels ok, go with it, you can always, always change you mind, and move on and past something that not feeling as well has it could. theres two very cool words in the world, yes and no use them. some time it can feel overwhelming to say yes or know- yet you can also change your mind- its your life and your the boss of you.

Use what works for you- and make it light hearted and fun.

J

Hey bad stuff happens, what you do then is dust yourself off, make a note of what created the bad, and don't do it again, theres always going to be ups and downs, thats life- now has for being perfect- get real - thats can't be done, yet, what you can do and have is something that is just really really good, and allow that to be ok, your get more stuff done that way- being scared means your human, and alive, it means you can do things that matter to you and others, oh by the way dragons have a fear of people who smile at them so just notice your dragons thank them for being there, for you- smile at them and just watch them grow smaller and smaller nOw knowing if you need your dragons you can invite them back and you can hold them from time to time- other wise just take your time, and take tiny steps in the direction you want.

J

Well making mistakes is what learning is for, you can't get good with out making mistakes- The children are a responsibility- and yes your need to look at how much time you can commit- to other areas of life out side of looking after your children, start very small, and as for writing theres always the option of writing in your preferred language, first then get the writing projects translated into English- see theres always away round, you build up your skill base by doing it- (it) being what ever it is you want to get good at. and you have to keep in mind that your children are getting older- each day so there will be times when your kids will have to go to school, in one form or another- and that will open up some time for you to do extra things- so even though you have limited time to do somethings, that does not stop you from reading, and learning, etc.

The internet is a rich resource of support groups you might consider looking into such a venture-  yet most of all take your time, keep asking questions, and take small action steps, even if its just writing your thought in to a journal- then give it a review from time to time.

Theres 7.7 billion people on the earth- your never going to be alone- you might not like some of them and they might not like you, yet your never going to be alone.

J

     

What would have to happen for you to feel comfortable while doing new things? (write out your first response) and have a little brake just a minute or two then ask yourself what else? and and keep going with that until you hit a (void, wall, blank,) then go do something for an hour or two and then come back and repeat- once you have some where in the 3-5 pages mark of blurb- pull out some of the things you think and FEEL you can start doing, its really fine to do very tiny shifts- yet to do something, maybe as a start could be create blog, or so some creative writing, or create an ebay account and sell a few items- you see for me a comfort zone is like a pillow that I can carry with me and when I need to feel comfortable I can whip it out and enjoy doing stuff in comfort- and I think you don't really have a real comfort zone - its more like a (fear zone) and you really don't need that when doing day to day living- fear like all emotions as a powerful use in the right place- like feeling fear about snakes is useful until you know the difference between harmless snakes and them other types the ones that bite and nick your wallet or shoes- and some times bites and kills you- not the best thing to happen- so fear is useful- yet having a comfort zone is really cool as you can carry it with you and just feel comfortable everywhere you need- and if you can feel comfortable- then I am guessing you can feel what calm is like yes? now if you was feeling calm inside your comfort zone, then I am guessing you could even feel happy, or confident yes?

So just out of sheer curiosity- lets just say its 2 years from now- and you have a comfort zone that as grown, and in that new zone you feel calm, happy, confident, and anything else you care to consider, in that time in the future, now if you was to look back to the here and now, from that new place of comfortable, calm, happy, and confident- and to notice the steps you took to get there- what did and could you do to allow that to happen? and allowing you self to make any and all adjustments so you can keep doing new things while- being comfortable, calm happy, and confident-  yet before you do any of that nOw, take a little time to notice what is working well for you in life, what already makes you happy, what things do you do well, whoa and what make you feel good, and while you paying attention to that, then make some new plans- from that place of feeling- and know you only need a direction and you can carry your comfort zone with you while doing new things- very tiny things, will build up and as you look back from where you are in the future with the life you want, you can notice some or all of the steps yo have taken, and making any adjustments along the way- and you can be in the right comfort zone here and now and take it with you and that will let you do new things while still feeling comfortable.

What makes you feel powerful? or what could let you feel powerful? or if you was feeling powerful how would you know? and while your feeling that powerful press your index finger and thumb together and repeat about 15 times- and any time you need a boost- press your index finger and thumb together-

J   

           

Hi Storm


My first option is a base ball bat- yet that could lead to a short time in jail, which would not be the best thing, so there are things you can do, or at least consider, one would be to take some self defense classes-  that way in the event of something happening you have away to protect yourself, other things are to make sure you someone is either with you or know where you will be.

As for techniques- Just notice how you are feeling right now, and what ever name you might call that feeling, just let it be, and just notice the sensations, the warmth or coolness, the weight or lightness, does it have a shape a colour? a sound and just notice noticing- and just be with that, nothing more nothing less, what do you and can you notice on the outside- what are you seeing hearing? and just be aware of being aware- and now if you was feeling strong calm and confident right here and right now, whats happening inside for you to know that you are feeling strong calm confident right here right now? and if you was to increase that feeling by just 1 half of percent how would that then feel? now while your in this/that state (press your index finger and thumb together and while your doing that at the same time say in a very strong inner voice inside your head (Strong Now!!) now repeat this this 7-11 times and each time increase that feeling of being strong calm confident in this/that time in the here and now- now go in to a time in the future several years from now, and while your in that time, turn around and look back from that time to this time, and press your finger and thumb together, and say Strong now, in that strong voice, and while your in that strong place in that time in the future walk back from there in to the now minute by minute, hour by hour day by day, week by week, month by month tear by year, getting stronger and stronger until your reach the here and the now, then turn around and walk back to the future and again taking this that state of being strong, all the way back there in that future time, and again turn back and do this several times each time making it faster and faster stronger and stronger- then stop- go for a drink of water- and just notice noticing- and when you need a boost press your finger and thumb together- and just notice and just increase the feelings of strong just by one half of a percent each time.

J     

I am sure if you was to think about this, you might see that you could do both, you could be come a life coach and coach and mentor other diplomats who are in training and starting out.

Just a thought.

J

Hi Mary


Your words are loaded with big chunk metaphors- So lets start with getting the most important part of your experience in the world- accessed- for you to have a coherent set of experiences you need to drop some of the abstractions in your language really cool for create thinking and poetry- not so good for letting go of the reigns- first step and one that a lot of people have issues with at times is allowing your right now in time moment be your reality, what I mean by that is feel your feet on the floor, and breath, this is you in the here and now, stamp one of your feet on the floor- and repeat that a few times- now make sure both feet and flat on the floor- pay attention to that- this is you now the reality that you are experiencing- fact -

OK The answer to your cartoon is if you can feel your feet on the floor and you are noticing that you are in the the situation, were you can choose what and how you want to be on the earth..

What to try something out of your control- grab a coin- and walk to the front door- go on to the street- every time you reach a point were you have a turn (left or right option) choose heads for right and tails for left- and allow the coin to take you for a walk-from time to time pay attention to your feet on the ground- and make a mental connection with your state of being and specifically where you are in the world- now from time to time ask your self what are you noticing- what cars are about, what buildings, what people, what sound can you hear, and so on. and get used to noticing things on the (OUT SIDE) of you, if you are stuck in your head you are missing a lot of stuff-

Here's the thing about knowing, stamp on the floor with your foot, WHO DID THAT? How do you know? you had the experience of doing- knowing is based on having had done something before- otherwise its a (guessing) now theres some things this rule changes like you know its ok to drink clean water, but its stupid to drink a glass of bleach- yes I know an extreme example ytet sometimes to make a point you have to do such things.

I want to say yes to everything<<<< do you really how about being beat up robbed and abused? yes I know another extreme example yet sometimes points have to be made-

I don't know where to begin to ask for help!  I barely know how to frame the question.  <<<< do you think that maybe you just did and have..

I would make a point to play with the foot stamp game and the what am I noticing question, for a little while, consider getting a little note pad and making a detailed set of descriptions- of each time you play with the what am I noticing question- you can only ever make a choice in the moment- in the now, so get used to being there, here now and then you will find your "knowing"
because its connected to the soul of your feet-


J

 
 

"Seeing" myself doing it, how to do it,  How did you manage to ask that question? now the next stop is what would you enjoy asking for even more?

J