Hello James the fox

nice initiative to start a thread in which we can all reflect and review our year to appreciate some of the best things that happened for us this year.

Things on my list are:
- seeing that I can "create" money other than from employment
- being coached by Michael
- witnessing a client transforming her life and giving me all the credit for it
- taking a month off just for myself and some body-mind-spirit pampering here: www.thesanctuarythailand.com
- making several new friends
- getting in touch with an old passion of mine: reviewing/critiquing fiction
- my best friend finally having a baby...
- Thai pancakes!

Looking forward to see everyone's lists,
Anja

Hi Cathy,

you can find all recordings here http://www.supercoachacademy.com/sixkeys/

Enjoy,
Anja

...but... aren't there still minus $26K in the college fund? 
 
I guess this is about:

...if we knew we could replenish the funds...

  and obviously you figured out a way... 

[to buy a new car]

Till the end of the year I would love to create a 20.000 EUR extra to have the money to buy a new car next year

Hm... I think the first step is to really define what exactly you want to make the money for Or are we talking about flying cars? 

Please do contact me via pm. Or you can also schedule a free phone conversation with me here http://my.timedriver.com/MNMJL

Looking forward to hearing from you
Anja

Hey Anja,

I'll play with you, too, if you like Via pm or here.

What's your plan on creating the other 19.575 EUR?

Do you want the money to dare to dream about the supercoach academy, or do you want it to pay for it? 

Anja

Hi Tom,

so, it's been 10 days - if you've made $959 so far, you're well on your way!

I'm gonna play with you! Here (if you wanna do this in public) or via pm.
And by playing, I mean I'll hold you accountable and brainstorm with you if you like.

well. I really want to examine my possibilities in truly doing this game,
staying with it...
remaining focussed on it.

gonna think today of invitations to send out that will help me on my way to doing so...

What possibilities/invitations have you come up with so far? Which ones are you most enthusiastic about?

I am *really* playing the 73 day money game.

What exactly are you doing on each of those 73 days (let's start with the past 10 and the next 10) How much time are you spending on "the game", per day?

What have you been doing differently or more of, since you started the game?

If I understand correctly - the $7000 are on top of your regular planned income until the end of the year? Do you have a way of measuring/knowing which part will be "extra"? Will it come from new sources of income, or do you have a monthly average income and if you exceed that, this will be your "extra"?

Anja

Hi Tracy,

have you heard of the purple "no complaints" bracelets? I think I heard about them from Michael, maybe from an earlier post somewhere here on the forum.

I really like Tom's tip and I agree with Liz - you can't change people. So you have to make them want to change themselves The bracelets might be a fun way. Especially for work teams. Check them out here: www.acomplaintfreeworld.org

Good luck,
Anja

Thanks Tom. From what I've googled so far, you're quite right.

It's about the emotions that positive and negative experiences are triggering in us.

Negative experiences - pain - leave "psychological scars" which go very deep (I guess mainly because we keep going over and over them and because we become scared and worried that they might happen again).

Positive ones are easier and quicker to adapt to and therefore don't go so deep. And therefore we tend to forget them quicker as well, I guess. Expect for the really big ones that left a big impact.
Also, once we had a positive experience, we try to have it again and again. So maybe all the little positive experiences, which we keep repeating - i.e. the first coffee in the morning or something - become "normal" and don't stand out as positive experiences anymore...

no scientific nothing to back it up...

same here. Only google.

Anja

Hi everyone,

I remember reading somewhere that we remember negative experiences longer than positive ones. I forgot where, though...

I'd really like to know the reason for that.

Does anyone know, or could you point me in the right direction of where to find out more on that?

Thank you,
Anja

I was just listening to the show and I'm trying to get my head around the fact that 44 trillion (total amount of money in the world) divided by 6.6 billion people in the world apparantly comes to "just over 6 million per person".

Since (I have to admit) I'm way below that average and there are only so many Bill Gates', Oprahs, English Queens and Sultans of Brunei, I checked and my calculator says "just over 6,000"...

Now I'm wondering if the calculation was wrong or the 44 trillion to start with. What if it was supposed to be quadrillions?

Who has my millions?

Hi everyone,

if you made New Year's Resolutions and if you need a trick how to stick to them, just put them out there and let the whole world hold you accountable for them:

http://www.toiletpaperentrepreneur.com/blog/hold-accountbale-new-years-resolutions-for-entrepreneurs

Happy New Year!

Anja

I joined the gym today!

Apart from the fact that it's going to be very easy for me to stick with it until the end of the year (it's closed tomorrow) I have noticed that when you make your New Year's Resolutions still in the old year, you're more likely to stick to them. Because when the New Year comes, you only have to continue what you already began. I guess it's to do with the "an object in motion tends to stay in motion" theory...

I noticed this "secret" after I sat down with a friend to make New Year's Resolutions last year on December 30. Only we called it "Action Plan" to make it sound different from "New Year's Resolution", since they have such a bad reputation and we really really wanted to keep them this time.
I started a list of about 60 goals/action steps that day, which I had to take in order to put an idea for a product into practice. Througout the year I kept using the file as a to do list (not only related to that product but for everything). I kept adding goals/actions and crossed out the ones that were done. I've just checked and noticed that I completed 435 out of 482! Wow! And I thought I was a procrastinator! Admittedly, I didn't do all of them at the deadline I had set and also I haven't used the file anymore since September, but hey *September*! Sounds better than 3rd of January so something like that... Plus, I was rewarded today - on the aniversary of my goals list - with a big order for that very product.

So, I'm not writing this to pad myself on the back (just kidding, I am!) but to *give* you.... drum rolls... OLD YEAR's RESOLUTIONS! Honestly, try it! I'm going to sit down with the same friend again tonight, though via skype this time, to make another action plan! Now that I know it works, next year can only become EVEN better than this year!

One of your Old Year's Resolutions should of course be to post more on this forum. It's one of mine. I miss you guys! What's happened? The only one who's trying hard to keep it up is Terri, every Monday! Where are you all? I'm sure you're checking every day if there are any new posts and when you don't see any, you leave again. I know I do. But as you know, we are here, in this world, to *actively create* (more posts), not only to *react*
 
I'm wishing all of you a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious year 2009 (guess what movie I just watched).
Happy creating!

Anja

PS: I'm not really planning to go to the gym. I only signed up because of the Sauna. But at least I can say "I am going to the gym" because after all, I really have to enter the gym building for it. 

Hi Dave,

From what I'm reading in your post, it sounds to me like the pediatrician brought you in too early.

What exactly is the objective of your intervention there? You've said "some marketing and customer service coaching" - what exactly is wrong with their marketing and customer service right now? Does both fall under the office manager's responsibility or which part is he involved in?

My guess is that the office manager is probably running the whole business while the pediatrician is doing only the "small part" of being a pediatrician... Marketing and customer service is not what a pediatrician is normally specialized in. So if he thinks something's wrong with that, he should first take this up with his office manager, who's responsible for it (I guess) and ask him for suggestions on how to improve it. If the office manager is overwhelmed or has no ideas how to improve the situation, then they can both agree on bringing a consultant/coach in for help. Judging from the resistance of the office manager, it sounds like the pediatrician skipped this step. It also sounds like he is a bit scared of the office manager and I'm wondering what exactly was his objective to bring you in?

I might be totally wrong, in case there is information missing, but I think the key is to put the office manager in charge. I mean, make him feel like he is in charge. That's what he's used to! I would guess he has much more knowledge about the business than the pediatrician, since running it is his job. Make him feel he is the key person, rather than a data-delivery-person. Show genuine interest in his opinion and make him feel important. Compliment him on his cost-consciousness and comittment to running the practice efficiently. Ask him for the reasons why he thinks your intervention is not necessary. Ask him what he thinks is really needed instead. Listen to him and acknowledge that he must know best (no matter if you really believe that or not ). Tell him that you understand now how he must feel about the pediatrician (and maybe yourself) undermining his authority, blah blah blah... Say whatever it takes to get him to like you and to make both of you stand on the same side. Try to really understand his position to be able to see things from his point of view. What if he's right?
 
Maybe all the pediatrician and his office manager really need is relationship and communication coaching

Good luck! Keep us posted!

Anja

Hi Tom,

I heard about this article from a friend who did it and he indeed started crying during the process... I couldn't quite believe it because it just seemed too simple. And I haven't tried it out myself yet because I don't like the idea of crying in relation to that. I want this revelation to totally inspire me and make me happy!!

Did you do it? How did it work for you?


Two years ago, in my first ever NLP course, I learned that "the purpose of your life is when your talents and skills meet the needs of both yourself and other people". (Loosely translated from Dutch..) I do believe that.

My purpose in life is to bring people together and to inspire them to create positive change. Either by doing it myself or by just bringing them together and let someone else do the change, or by just inspiring and enabling them to create change themselves... Something like that. I think. At least that's what it is at the moment so I'm putting all my energy in that. I'm not worried if in two years or so I find out it's something even better

Keep us posted on your progress!
Glad you found a good coach!

Anja

Hello elephant eater,
what a fantastic, cool, positive name you have chosen here

When I read your post, all I can think of is Byron Katie. Have you checked her out?
www.thework.com

Best,
Anja

Hi,

can the ones of you who mainly work from home help me with this..

When I left my job earlier this year (to live from the freedom fund for a while and give my ideas the chance to come out and be explored) I decided to work everyday only on what I was inspired to work on. What a luxury! And it worked, the ideas just didn't stop!!

Now, that the business is beginning to take shape, there are of course some things that I *have* to do - no matter if I'm inspired or not... And I notice that I keep snoozing the Outlook reminders for those things - because I'm keeping myself busy with the stuff that I'm inspired to do!

So what I started doing, is to take all the *have to* stuff and leave the house, to sit in a cafe for example and go through paperwork, or revise my website pages, or edit some texts, etc. That works pretty good, actually, and I get most of the stuff done (except for days like today when it's pouring down outside and I'm trapped and can't leave the house...)

So - insping stuff at home, have to stuff outside of home...

Did any of you struggle with similar things? How did you trick yourself into doing the boring stuff (before you could hire someone to do it for you... )?

Anja

I impressed with today's tip!

First of all, seems like Michael researched who that painter was, who copied other painters' work (or someone really did call in and gave him feedback after listening to the Effortless Success program )

Then.... 

when people begin to believe that the only way to unlock the door to success is to visualize and affirm it as open, they sometimes forget to check the door to see if it was ever really locked in the first place.

...slightly unrelated and maybe totally different, but just yesterday I visited a friend in her new apartment. The building is an old factory and has 6 or more new apartments. She's the only one who has moved in yet and we were saying, isn't it scary to know you're the only one in the whole building? She said, sometimes, and told us how she "locked herself in" the bathroom one day (a 1x1meter cubicle) and she tried and tried to unlock the lock but it just wouldn't move and just before she was about to scream (in vain, of course), she thought of pressing down the handle... and walked into freedom because she hadn't locked it in the first place!

I also really like the structure of today's tip, from a literary point of view  It's.. kind of... "round". I like round things. The second "crap" question makes it all come together (like a circle) at the end..

*   Am I putting in the hours?
*   Am I doing what someone who didn't believe in any of this "power of thought" stuff would believe was necessary to get where I want to go?
*   If I was accountable to a manager or boss for the successful completion of this project, would I be able to give a good accounting of what I'm doing to make things happen?

No.
No.
No.

Oops. Gotta go...

I got my purple bracelet shipment this week!

Anjali, did you get yours? Have you started to use them at work? Let us know the feedback!
I will also introduce them when working with teams, I think.
I'm planning some workshops also, for people to become a little more positive and I will hand them out at the end of it. It's such a nice anker and reminder to keep you on track...

Plus, I also like that they are totally in the fashion colour of this Fall... 

Anja

Congratulations, Tom!
 
Sounds like the universe really delivered - a great project that brought a coach along with it Win-Win

Anja

Thanks, Tom!

I researched a bit further and found that fear and respect are easily confused. It did feel a bit strange when I wrote it, but that's why I wrote it, to get some other opinions.

Also, the more I think about it, it's not even personal, it's really quality- or trait-specific. I respected my boss for his knowledge in a specific field, I hated him for his behaviour and I feard every single conversation with him. Still I would say I respected him. Even though it's just 1% of him that I actually respected.

One question that I think definitely needs to be asked, how much does the need to be "respected" drive us?

Yes. And that makes me wonder - is the need for respect the same as the need for attention? And how much of both is related to "being successful (at something..)"?

Anja

am I doing NLP without knowing it?

Haha I think you are, Tom! Everyone is - running programs and patterns, that either work for them (to have positive results) or not. NLP (in a super-tiny nutshell) makes you aware of those programs and shows you how to run the good programs instead (and how to stop running the ones that aren't so beneficial for you).

Michael's books are full of NLP, but you're right, just today I noticed again how he almost never mentions it. They are also full of spirituality and yet he doesn't really mention it. Smart, eh? Keeps the audience large and doesn't exclude anyone
On the other hand, that is what makes him "speak our language", plus the humor, which results in an entertaining and educating read.

I have done the NLP practitioner course, and I fully intended to do the Master practitioner as well, but I have noticed, that knowing what I've learned on the practioner is completely sufficient for me right now.

Maybe you don't have to do a practioner course, but i would definitely recommend an "Introduction to NLP" course or something. The very least you will get out of it is understanding yourself better (you might have quite some a-ha moments). And it helps you to get along better with other people and accept their way of seeing the world. All with scientific/psychological reasons and explanations.
If you're a spiritual person, you might notice lots of things that are overlapping - which can be explained both scientifically and spiritually (i.e. why you should always focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want).

I do not "practice" NLP, at least not consciously and I'm certainly no expert at it, but I do notice that the knowledge of the practitioner course is in me and I benefit from it everytime I need to explain something more thoroughly (when coaching people in communication skills for example) or give them just a little more information than what another trainer/coach could have given them.

So, if you're doing some self exploration, I would definitely suggest to look into NLP. I think some training institutes offer tasters for free, maybe you can find some in your area. An evening workshop or something. That's what I did, before I took any courses, I think.

Of course there are also books, but I've never heard anyone recommending a book in order to learn NLP. It's something you have to do live. You can read the books afterwards. I was sitting next to someone who said to me half way into the (7 day) course, "Now I finally understand the NLP books I've read!"

Anja

[Who do you / don't you respect, and why?]

I've been thinking a lot about respect lately. Especially in the workplace, but also generally. I've noticed that many people equal respect with recognition/rewards (again, in the workplace) but I don't really agree with that.

So, while I was trying to get to the bottom of what respect actually is, I came up with this little exercise for myself when I was sitting in the train home just now, and it did give me some insights. And I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

Who do you / don't you respect, and why?
Your mother
Your father
Your boss
People who are reporting to you
The person at the checkout in the supermarket
A beggar on the street smelling of alcohol
The president of the United States (who shall remain unnamed )
The Pope
The pakistani guy who walks through restaurants trying to sell you roses or photos he's taking of you

I know we should respect all people and we probably do, but do we always *show* respect to them?

Doing this, I came to the conclusion that we tend to respect people more if
- they add value to our lives, in whatever way
- we value their reasons/motives for whatever it is they do (no matter if we agree or not)
- we fear them
- we admire their abilities (if we don't have the same, or not as strong)

When do we not show enough respect?
- When we take them for granted
- When we don't need them, or what they have to offer
- When we consider them inferior to us in whatever way (intelligence, strength, etc.)

And what does respect actually show?
- That we trust in their abilities?
- That we value them?

I don't really agree with me here, because it seems like respect shows/means something different for everyone. I mean my respect for my parents means something different than my respect for my boss. I value the people who report to me, but I do not value my boss. I do not automatically trust in everyone's abilities, no matter how much I respect them. 

Is respect "personal"?



 

It's gonna be over next year in June! At least that's what Sylvia Browne says
But when I told my financial advisor, he said she's right. And he explained me all the reasons for it, which made sense at the time but which I'm unable to re-explain because I have no clue about those things..

Anyway. It's temporary!!!

Anja

Well, I'm gonna go shopping now!!

OK, seriously. There's this shop that I always walk past, and I love the clothes in the shopping window and since I started my business I always thought, "Once I'm a top Coach/Consultant I'll buy my clothes in there!" Then last week, I just went in. Just to look at the clothes from close up and get the feeling A few days later, I landed my first freelance deal! This law of attraction really really works... 
So this week, I'm gonna go and shop there!

For the past 8 years I've worked at a fashion (jeans type) company, so I never really needed to go shopping for clothes and I wore the same clothes to work as I wore in my private life. Now my work and my life changed, so the clothes are changing along with it. I think your style of clothes expresses your life/work style. I'll still change back to jeans when I go out with my friends.

Something i never change is my watch, though. I have a very weird watch, which I bought 15 years ago - not because it was particularly pretty, but it was unlike any I had ever seen. I'm still wearing it and it's just part of me and I have people asking me about my watch all the time. And when I meet people who I haven't seen in 10 years, they say "You're still wearing that watch!" Maybe I should pay attention if it actually matches with what I'm wearing... Maybe it looks totally funny and I don't notice it anymore... NO. It's part of me. It's me. It's authentic. I'm not gonna change it.
 
The shoe thing is quite interesting... We buy all these shoes all the time and still only wear one pair - the most comfortable one, until it falls apart... And then we cry "I don't have any shoes!!" and go and buy more.

 

Hi Jen,

thank you!

Yes, that thought crossed my mind. To invent a new word for "networking" So if you can help me with that, please do

Today I heard the term "friend-chising". Nice, he? But already used for something else...

Maybe something with "hub". People hub. Hubbing. Would make sense as my single friends already mentioned they might find a "hubby" at those events.. 

Anja

Hi Dave,

OK, pretend you have been introduced. Pretend you are having that coffee with that person for 20min. Use that conversation as your starting point. How do you find out what's important to them in such a short time frame?

I like the two questions that have been posted! Thanks guys!

Anja

southnick,
exactly my point! This is why people actually don't like networking events, because they feel they have to sell themselves or they need to listen to others, giving them a sales speech they don't want to hear.

Last weekend, I went to an international fair here in The Hague, and the vast number of networks that exist already was a bit discouraging for me at first. But then I remembered that I've been to some of them and really did not enjoy it, because everyone was just there to talk about their business. That's absolutely not what I want to do. I want to form personal relationships on the basis of helping each other out. The events are there to connect. To have fun together and to get to know new people. Not to promote your business. (The other part will be online, but also there, offering your services will be only in RESPONSE to people's queries. Otherwise it'd be advertising...)

I made 2 new contacts that day at the fair. I did not have a stand of my own, I visited other people's stands. I met a painter, who had a painting of a doorknob behind him on display, which I found really funny, so we started talking. He's from Washington and just arrived in the Netherlands. I have an Italian friend who is a painter, too, has family in Washington and loves it so much she wants to move there. Turns out this painter also speaks Italian! My Italian friend happened to be at the fair, too, so I got her and introduced them and they were like, "We HAD to meet today!" He's now in my network. I also saw the stand of a photographer and fell in love with her photos. I complimented her on them and she just smiled and said thank you. She did not give me a sales pitch, she just let her photos speak for themselves. I took her contact details, emails her a few days later and she joined my network. This is how I like it.
I also met a personal assistent kind of person, who gave me a whole rehearsed speech on what she does and how beneficial her services would be to me (not knowing that I'm offering the same kind of services when coaching small business owners). So I found out all about her, including her prices and dediced I'd rather hire me when given the choice between her and me . I did not invite her to my network. Not because we'd be competition, I'm not too keen on doing admin assistance anyway, but just because she doesn't fit into my vision of this network.

I've been to Michael's coaching mastery course in Amsterdam last year, so of course a variation on the cool speed coaching thingy is on my list, haha! Maybe not for the first event but for later ones.

Hey, I'm commuting between The Hague and Exeter a lot, maybe we can organize something between Southampton and Exeter some day!

Anja

Today's daily coaching tip started about the theories about how many thoughts per day we have.

My question is, who counts them? And how? If I was to be a guinea pig, would I have cables stuck to my head all day? Could I produce proper thinking results with them? Or would I have to count my own thougths? Then every count would be a new thought, wouldn't it, and I would double the total number by that... Or cut them in half because all I would think about is counting my thoughts, so I would block out everything else...

Seriously, this really got me thinking... 

Anja

OK. Here it is.

Say you meet a person for the first time and you have about 15-20min to talk with them.
It's their birthday tomorrow and you want to give them a present that will really mean something to them.
How are you going to find out what the perfect gift would be for them, without asking the obvious question "What would you like for your birthday?" What questions would you weave into this "casual conversation", in order not to raise any suspicion?

This is not a joke or a trick question. I'm serious. I'd like to find out the best questions that you could use to really "get to know" someone in a very short period of time, and to find out what's really important to them (at least at this moment in time) so you could make a difference with a little gift or gesture.

I'm curious...
Anja

I got mine today! Excited!!

Anja

Hi,

not sure if there's an audio version, but regarding social/people skills, Dale Carnegies book "How to win friends and influence people" changed my life.

I used to be the one sitting in a corner at parties, watching the others having fun. Now I'm the one introducing and connecting people...

If I can do it, you can do it!
Anja

[have]

Michelle, Dave,
thank you!

I think I have a pretty clear vision on how I am going to set this all up. First I'm going to start "recruiting" (starting today at an international/local fair) for my network.
Once I have, say 80-100 people, I'll organize the event in a small venue and invite about 60 people (to make sure 30-40 actually show up). Invitation, in order to avoid half of the people are from the same industry (agree with you Dave).

On the event, the main purpose will be to get people to interact with each other. Not to stand up and talk about their business, but to make personal connections (in which they obviously talk about what they do, but it's easier than getting up and standing in front of a crowd, plus I'm sure more people will ask you for your business card). And for this, I'm going to use fun games.

Last year I went to an event where they did a "networking-bingo". Each square said something like "Find the person who owns a windmill!" So everyone was buzzing around, trying to talk to every one, to have their bingo sheet filled with names first. I'm planning to do 1 or 2 games until everyone has interacted with everyone (therefore small groups), which will make it easy for them to just chat and have small talk later. Maybe I'll do "speed-networking". Michael had us do speed-coaching last year in Amsterdam, so this must be possible, too

And later, maybe I'll do the breakfast thingy... They do already exist here and I don't really want to re-create something that already exists, plus, my main reason to do all this is to take the fear of "networking" or "selling myself" from people, by making it different, personal and most of all fun. Getting up and talking about their business is not everybodie's cup of tea, and I don't want people to feel like they have to go to these events, to make contacts. I prefer people to want to come and ask "when is the next one??" ;-)

Anja

I guess, I am a little nervous about the coaching process...
nervous that I will be seen as a failure; nervous to allow people into my inner workings; nervous to waste money; impatient with getting the coach up-to-speed on where and what I'm doing; impatient with the possibility of getting bad advice or just a *dumb-coach* (that's why I'm asking here... no-one here is a dumb-coach).

What's "dumb coach"? What would that coach do, so he would fall into that category?
You know, I had a coach 2 years ago and I just called her and told her "I wanna be coached. I have no issues that I can think of, but I want to become a coach, so I want to work with one first to see what it's like." That was it. In our first (free consultation) session she just asked me a couple of questions about my life, and in no time we had LOTS of areas that needed improvement...
In hindsight, I don't think she was a "GREAT" life coach, meaning she didn't blow me away with big NLP stuff or some cool life changing tools, but I left every session uplifted and inspired. And later I did notice how much I got done and that the biggest part of the coaching actually really does happen in between the sessions. Because you do it yourself. The coach is just there to stimulate the process, to open your mind, give you new perspectives or whatever it takes to get you to move forward.
I noticed later that she was a fantastic corporoate coach. Much better than a life coach. So maybe in your "map of the world" she would fall into the category "bad coach", still, she did a lot for me and my money was not wasted.

No-one will see you as a failure. If you're inspired to move forward, the sessions will be just as inspiring for your coach.

I feel like I have *ALL* the information I need -

I just don't really know what to do with it...

I think most coaches offer free consultation sessions. Why don't you call a few, tell them exactly that and see with which one you click most? It's likely that you will "speak the same language" with most of them, since you are into all of this stuff and it's great for the coach's relationship with you if you are kind of on the same level as them already.
 
Good luck
Anja

Ha ha! That would have been a good example of "free will" and it gives a lot of food for thought about the word "unconditional"...

OK, I had to read this a few times in order to understand it - and I'm still not sure if I do

I thought at first you're a coach and you don't dare to charge much, especially if people don't have a lot of money and that's the reason why they want to be coached. But now I think you are not a coach, you're looking for one, to find out how to make more money at your current job/businesss etc.

If it's the latter, from the top of my head, I can think of two things:

- Find a coach who doesn't dare to charge money to people who don't have much (OK seriously, I'm sure if you would look for coaching "students", or people who've just been certified and who want to practice, you'd find someone who would like to use you as a guinea pig You can offer them a referral or testimonial in return.)

- Read Paul McKenna's "I can make you rich". Honestly, I'm recommending this book to everyone. I'm not "rich" yet, and that's not what the book is all about, but it's like it's unlocked my brain or something and the ideas just keep pouring out... I'm working on pretty much all of them right now and they keep coming and I know if I only learn how to prioritize or juggle them all at the same time, I *will* be rich sooner or later

Anja

Ah! OK.

Anyway. I confirm that sleeping longer reduces the time for complaints.

Anja!

Don't be fooled by the time display in the posts! Where he lives it's not even the 17th of September yet!

Anja

Tom!

You're complaining already at 03:28 AM?
 
You know, you can reduce your complaint-time by adding more sleep-time in your days 

Anja

Hey Michelle,

thanks!

The website I needed quotes for (when i first posted this) is done, but now I'm busy with the next one for which I can use a lot of quotes, too! So this came just in time!

I love the one about the turtle, and I cracked up about the procastination one! That's me!

Anja

Hey Lenny,

I can totally see through your story telling email... 

We have something in common, I used to work in a call center, too. "Changing the customers state" is pretty much the only exciting thing you can do there, isn't it! Only I didn't know back then that I was "changing their state".

After my time there, I know I would never ever pick up the phone all worked up and angry and expect the person on the other end to want to help me.. So, we all learn from our experience. And Dale Carnegie...

Anja
(in the process of collecting newspapers and trying to determine when they can be considered "old")

Yes, let's talk about other ways
(Still I'm interested who really did "Today's experiment". Even only 10% of it... )

The things that come to my mind are that I sometimes take a completely different view than the other people in a conversation. I'm not doing that to cause arguments, I'm just doing that open people's minds (including my own) or stretch them a bit for a new perspective. Also to see who thinks about it and joins me in trying on a new thought. And I'm not just saying the opposite of what they say, I'm saying something that I recently heard or red and want to explore more.
Last time I did that, was when we were talking about what "true friendship" was and I said, "I think a true friend is not the one who's there when you're sad, but it's the one who sticks with you when you're happy." That was quite a conversation stopper and after a moment they (all) told me that I was wrong and it was the other way round.
It was something I had read in Paolo Coelho's book "The Zahir" and I have to say, looking at my own life, my true friends are the ones who are truly happy for me when I'm happy - regardless of how they feel. It's not the ones who suddenly appear when I'm sad, because they take comfort in the fact that there's someone feeling worse than them.

Also, what I like to do, is to make a point of stopping and giving money to a beggar on the street when my friends are just walking past them and ignoring them. I have to admit that a lot of the time I also walk past. Especially past the one who tells me EVERY DAY: It's my birthday today, can you spare some change? (But what if one day it really IS his birthday..? Hm... Note to self..)
But I am giving a lot more these days than some years ago, and I remember that I started after a friend had stopped to give and I had just walked on. It made me feel so bad that I started to give money to every beggar who asked me for a few months. OK, I didn't keep that up, but I've done the same thing to my friends ever since Hopefully they also started giving afterwards, even if it's just once. 

Anja

Hi Terri,

do you already have good news for us?

I'm about to finish my website and put a link on it.

Thank you,
Anja

Thanks, Tom

And if I wanna laugh out loud again, I'm just gonna read your reply over and over again, ha ha 

So let me get this right despite the fact it's Friday today and Friday is not a good day to call the water company you actually made the call and learned something new.

Jen, thanks for pointing that out! I didn't even realize that! That proves again that I'm not one to go with the majority (and by majority I mean all those people who don't call the water company on a Friday). I like to be different, take the unbeaten path, explore new ways! You know..

Anja

Wow. What a learning experience. This might all sound funny to you, and of course I'm trying to make it sound funny, but still, I've learned something about myself!

First of all, it's Friday today. Friday is not a good day to call the water company, is it?

Second of all, I noticed that making this phone call is simply not inspiring. Inspiration has been my second name since the beginning of this year, I'm concentrating on doing inspiring things and inspiring others and it looks like my subconscious is sabotaging me the moment I'm trying to do something un-inspiring! Just to keep me on track. (Thanking my subconscious and blaming it at the same time.)

Third of all, it's Michael's fault. Page 87, "You can have what you want", says: "I, Anja, commit to listening to the voice of inspiration and living an inspired life." He started it!!

So I'm sitting here at my laptop, working, and came by to check the forum and thought, no matter what they say, it's Friday, it's really not a good day to call, the water company employees will already be thinking of their weekends - I'll tell them I'll call on Monday.

But then I saw all you lovely people trying to help! And while - sorry - none of the questions worked for me (though the 1000s and 1000s left a fleeting impression..), what worked was just the fact that you were trying to help! And I just thought I can't dissappoint you! I can't let you down by not giving you a happy end! I have to help YOU!!

So. Ta-daaaa! I just called them! Took 3:55min. Including the menu, press 1 for this, 2 for that, etc...

As ridiculous as this might sound, but I noticed that I'm more driven by helping others, than by helping myself. I did this for you! I have to laugh about this myself, but I hope you semi-understand what I mean. I don't mean this in a glorifying Mother-Theresa-way at all. It's actually not even a good thing, we all know we should think of ourselves first, so we have the resources to help others. But I love learning things about myself, even if it's through tiny ridiculous things like this.

Now, this could be the end of the story. I'm glad I found reasons for all this. I need reasons. I'm pretty reasonable (when there are no water companies involved). And, after all, I can't sit on the Oprah show one day, saying, "First I didn't call for no reason, and then I did. For no reason." Where's the message in that? How am I going to help and inspire others with THAT?

But, the story continues. The water-company-person I had on the phone made a note and said someone would call me back. 5min later someone really did call me back! (Customer Service is not the Dutch's highest value...) They said it's just condensation and I should dry the pipes really well and wrap them in old news papers... To see if it comes back. Hm... Apart from this high-tech repair suggestion, how they knew it's just condensation, is beyond me. Maybe they have crystal balls.
So, the down side is, that I now have to open my floor, *touch* the pipes (it's a wet, dark hole with bare old bricks and old water pipes, it's a place where you would expect rats!!! Though of course I hope not...) and then do the same thing again in a week or so, to check again!
And if I do find them wet again, I will have to make ANOTHER PHONE CALL aaaaaaargh!!

So, I'll be in touch... 

Anja

(This will all be chapters in the best selling book, "The water company phenomenon", see Oprah's book club in 2013 and don't miss the webcasts!!)

Nope. Didn't call yet.

But you should see my to do list. There are really many many more important things on it, (like sitting at the beach and brainstorming what more things I could put on the to do list) and I really really just don't have the time.

Ja, I was hoping to find a scientific reason that can be explained, like a call-the-watercompany-deficiency in my brain or something. I could for sure NLP it away and then get invited to the Oprah show to hold inspiring speeches and tell other fellow-sufferers how I over came it..

So, maybe tomorrow.

Anja

I would really like to get to the bottom of this.

I have a water damage in my house, downstairs next to the entrance. Somebody had a look at it once and said that it's very common in this neighbourhood and might be the water in the ground coming up (I live in the Netherlands where pretty much everything is below sealevel).
If that is indeed the reason, it could be fixed, but would come back in 3-4 years.

Then, a neighbor had a look and lifted up some boards in the ground to check the water pipes, and found them wet. This might be the problem. He said I should call the water company and have it checked. If it's their pipe, they have to fix and pay it, if it's my pipe, I have to pay it.

I'm not calling them. I don't know why but I have such a resistance, even though it's just a stupid phone call. Plus, I'm at home all day, so I could easily make an appointment without re-arranging things. I would have to speak Dutch on the phone, which I don't like, but do in other cases, too. I've had bad experience with people fixing stuff in my house, but OK, I also had good ones (though I have to think really hard which ones they were..) The two people which I mentioned above happened to be there for other reasons - I did not have to call them.

I think it's really just about making the stupid phone call. But why? I don't have a phone-phobia or anything.

I am making to do lists every day. And I love being structured and working my way through them and crossing things out. The only thing I carry over from day to day is "Call the water company!!" I am adding more and more exclamation marks to this sentence each day, but I'm just not doing it!

WHY??? What's the big deal??? The fact that I might fix it now and in 3 years again? The money that it might cost me? But maybe it's their fault and I won't have to pay anything. And who knows how much water I'm wasting by having dripping wet water pipes? I'm really into saving money, so why don't I call them?

Maybe I just need someone to report to. So this is my last attempt to get myself to do it. So I can tell you tomorrow I did it.

Still, if anyone knows how from now on I could make those phone calls (anything to do with offices or workers coming to my house) RIGHT AWAY - please let me know..

Thank you
Anja

You know, sometimes I "notice" something and then I really choose not to complain about it. Funnily enough, the first thought that always crosses my mind then, is "Other people would get upset about this now."  Maybe I really just want to be different, but then again - whatever works!

I have to say that I'm quite relaxed in a lot of ways nowadays (and in others not) - I'm not sure if this happened since I read this tip from Michael the first time around (or in his book? I know I've seen it before.) or when I heard the quote "Nobody wins friends by winning an argument." the first time. All I know is that I wasn't always like that 

I had a specific case this week when I got a call (after ages) from a friend, who clearly only got in touch with me because she wanted something from me. I noticed it, but I chose not to make it a big deal, because I thought, sometimes we do need a reason to get in touch again and I'm happy she found a reason and made contact again. We had a fantastic evening out, had lots of fun, noticed how both our businesses are overlapping in some way and agreed to exchange expertise. She will help me with something and I will help her, so neither of us will have to hire someone.
 
So far, she's only been "taking" and "didn't have time" to give much yet... I'm noticing it, but I'm not complaining.. I know that something good will come from it. Maybe she really doesn't have time. Maybe she's working for me somewhere in the background where I can't see it. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Until then I enjoy her inspiration and happiness about what I'm doing for her (which really doesn't take me a lot of effort or time).

Michael - thanks so much for the link to acomplaintfreeworld.org! I've never heard about this before and actually also never saw anyone with a purple bracelet but I love what I read there and I've ordered the teacher's package right away! I'm not a teacher, but for a long time I've been looking for something that I could introduce to schools - classes or workshops that teach kids or teenagers a more positive outlook or some people skills. Something, that nobody taught us in school. This programme looks like a fantastic start to me!

Anja

PS - I read the PS about the Creative Leadership in Vilnius - once your in Europe, can't you come to Amsterdam again and do that one here, too? 

 

Aaaah, I think I got it! So basically I have a hidden page with links to let's say geniuscatalyst.com and if someone would google that, my site would come up in the list, even though nobody can see the word geniuscatalyst on my site.

Very hypothetical example of course, since I would never *hide* a link to geniuscatalyst, but put it in big fat bold bright red alarm letters for everyone to see... 

Anja

Mark:

Jay,

Another thing to consider is to create a hidden page, as to have a few hundred links on it- and the search bots will swarm to the site helping you a listing-

Can you elaborate a bit on this? I need that, too, and I like hidden secret things but I didn't understand a thing... Will I have a hidden page on my website, with lots of links? And what would the links link to? To other sites? (Like Obama and porn..?) Or the other way round?

 

Thank you,
Anja

Right now I'm preparing a networking event for small business owners, but I'm also looking for other, general ideas.

Thank you,
Anja