What a interesting sbuject
It would be great if more people could add their points of views here...
Good morning Tom.
I restarted this thread over here simply because i thought forgiveness was a interesting subject for debate, and that it 'deserved' a thread all to its self.
This was by no-means a personal attack at you or a insult to you.
You are right when you mentioned that 'forgiveness is a deeply spiritual act'
I see forgiveness as a journey in a lot of people.. Normally there is a huge wave of emotions that someone has to work through before they can be at peace within themselves to consider forgiveness. Normally when someone is hurt, angry, frustrated.. forgveness would not normally be a emotion they are considering.
I say normally here.. Most people whom we come to meet in life who reach out to 'us' do not have the training or attitudes we have. We have travelled our own journey's to becomes coaches etc, we have learned to understand our own feelings, spent time on learning how to let go of issues, how to change state etc.. I am sure none of us learned the skills over night.
Forgiveness surley has to come from within first. A person needs to forgive themselves, normally surround a very emotive issue, the victim can be filled with guilt etc.
Gandhi once said 'Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love'
When i am being client focused, i would not ask them to forgive someone, i believe that comes from within them and not my belief on forgiveness. I always seperate my belief system from theirs, whats important to me when i am working with someone, is what either their belief or disbelief system makes them think and or feel. Realistically, what i think or feel has nothing to do with them moving forwards.
I think there has been a miscommunication on what my feelings are on forgiveness and what my feelings are when addressing a client and suggesting forgiveness.
As coaches etc, we will all have our own belief systems, and one thing i recall from the first day of going into learn NLP was a quote, I cannot recall if either Paul, Richard or Michael said it, but it was 'when you move outside your comfort zone, and you will learn', this will always stick in my head. I welcome people challenging my belief system, i am always interested in listening to their point of view. Its through this process I can learn and grow with a greater understand of what other people think and feel and why they do.
I really appreciate all of your input on the the subject Tom, and its great to see another write so passionatley. Thank you.