Procrastination & Constant Rebellion

[MaryRC]

I have had a struggle with procrastination and rebellion my whole adult life.  I have seen the enemy, and she is me!  I'm 60, and it seems to be getting worse, because I seem to be less able to concentrate on getting things done, more ADD.  Oh, I get the absolutely necessary things done, like paying bills and such, but my dreams are passing me by, and I'm not getting younger.  The woman who spoke of the inner rebel is 30, so she still has time.  With me, I figure it's now or never. 

I know that Michael was talking about Yoda saying there is no try, there is do it or don't do it.  I rebel against taking the actions that I know are in my best interest, the things I really want to do.  I think about making art all the time, and yet I do nothing.  There is a constant pull, and I am constantly pulling in the other direction.  Just trying to get up the nerve to sell something on ebay has me paralyzed.  I want to do a blog; I have a great idea for one, and I'm not getting it done!

Help! 

[Jay Budzynski]

It seems to me like you don't have a struggle  with procrastination- you seem to be doing that pretty well already, I think you have mastered that which, if you think about it, despite its set backs is a really good skill, so how do you do procrastination? meaning if I was going to be you for a day, (I can only do that though if you have big feet) what would I have to be hearing in my head, (telling my self) feeling in my body? and imagining in my head that gets me to not be doing the things I want to? and while you consider that what would have to happen for in inside you mind and outside in the world so it would be ok for you to just for one day only drop your defenses and have a go at something anything new- and knowing you can go right back to doing nothing if you wish?

A student Zen monk was give a challenge by his master- the Master said if you don't move I'll beat you with this stick, and if you do move I'll beat you harder with this stick- what is the student monk to do?

Go check out Don Blackerby http://www.nlpok.com/ his book rediscover the joy of learning has some really good ways of healing ADD theres also some articles worth checking out-


J


By the way the student would grab the stick and beat the master.

[MaryRC]

LOL, Jay!  I guess I am a master of procrastination.  Actually, for a woman, I do have big feet! 

I haven't actually been diagnosed with ADD.  I'm pretty sure I have it.  I think I have had it since I was a child, but they were just barely talking about it when I was a teen.  I can focus for long periods of time on something unimportant, like a computer game.  I will sit and mindlessly play a game, because it blocks everything else out, sometimes even my inner voice.  Most of the time, my inner voice is scolding me.  "Why aren't you doing your art.  You are always thinking about it.  Why don't you do it?  This stupid game is boring.  Why aren't you doing something creative?  Why aren't you organizing your house?  You want it to look nice!  Just the thought of clear spaces gives you such a feeling of peace!  Why aren't you doing it?  If your things were more organized, you could spend time painting or working with clay.  I can't do clay.  That's my favorite thing, but the equipment is too expensive.  You'll have to do something else first, so you have enough money to buy the equipment.  You're getting older.  Even if you had the equipment, you wouldn't have enough time to become really good with the clay.  It takes a long time.  You might as well give up the idea of ever working with clay.  Do some handbuilt clay.  You don't need a wheel.  I still need a kiln.  The nearest kiln that I can pay to use is 50 miles away.  Do you know how much gas is?  I don't have a dependable car.  Our car is at work with my husband.  You have such creative ideas.  Why don't you follow through?  No.  You sit here like an idiot and play this mindless game."  Sometimes it gets even more complex than that. 

When I was a teenager, I would have a strange dream about chairs stacked up in front of me.  It was a wall of chairs I couldn't get through.  Sometimes it was a tangle of string, a huge tangle.  I don't need the silly dream anymore.  I have built a wall of obstacles myself.    

Thanks so much for your response, Jay!  I will certainly check that website.

[MaryRC]

In my own defense, I'm not a total flake!  LOL!

I have raised a wonderful son who is a very good man, husband, and father.  I keep my husband fed and his clothes washed.  We have a good relationship.  I'm not working now.  I worked for many years and have very little to show for it.  Lately I have been helping my mother-in-law.  She had to move into assisted living.  I take her to the doctor, pay her bills, and balance her checkbook.  We have moved into her house to deal with her belongings and get her house ready to sell.  I have had two estate sales, but I have some items I need to sell on ebay so she has extra money for assisted living.  I also need to sell some of my things.

I'm actually pretty good at following through, if I am doing something for someone else.  It's myself that I let down continually.

[Jay Budzynski]

Just a quick question when you think about your art do you see the finished painting in your minds eye?

Jx

[MaryRC]

Hi Jay!  No, I don't see a finished painting.  Sometimes I see clay vessels.  I think about painting and the act of painting.  I will start concentrating on seeing a finished painting.  That's a great idea!

You know, something strange has happened.  After I wrote that internal dialogue out, I woke up this morning and started working on the Christmas cards I had been procrastinating on.  I didn't go to the computer immediately and start fooling around.  Is that because I wrote that out?  It seems kind of odd!

[Jay Budzynski]

Do it with a few other things and see, feel do. notice how the change can happen slowly at first and build momentum as you do more and more- and you always have the choice of something else if you like.

J

[MaryRC]

Thanks, Jay! 

I'm feeling pleased.  I accomplished far more than usual today!

[Jay Budzynski]

Good going now you have a direction you can consider ways in which to make it and keep it fun.


Jx

[MaryRC]

Well, I thought I was losing it today, but I got so angry that I got some things done.  I hate having to lose my temper to get enough energy to accomplish anything.

[Regina]

Hey Mary

If I would believe in coincidences reading your post would be one.
I was up to just leaving the forum and find myself already in your words that feel soooooooo familiar.

I'm actually pretty good at following through, if I am doing something for someone else.  It's myself that I let down continually.

If nothing else this quote would have made the match perfect.

Well, I thought I was doing well, but I'm busy falling apart to day.  I feel so fragmented I don't think anybody can help.

I know better than to say: YOU ARE DOING WELL. So, I won?t! 

Or maybe I do. YOU ARE DOING WELL. It might not feel like it but it's still the truth.

Do you have access to Michael's 7 Myths of Success?
If so go for it and listen to Myth No. 3 - The Myth of Procrastination.

Did you visit the website of Don Blackerby as Jay recommended?
If so, you might have seen also the link to EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

I personally would recommend EFT to you and here specifically Brad Yates (http://www.bradyates.net). He has quite a lot of free stuff on his website and on YouTube (search for: eftwizard). It probably make sense to go first to the website before going for the YouTube videos.

EFT is great for these emotional turmoils you are writing about and Brad is gorgeous in his approach of doing it. Go and give it a try. Love yourself enough (even in this fragmented condition  ) to give it a go. 


The other day I read one of Michael?s Daily Coaching Tips Discipline Made Fun which I think might sooth your troubled soul a bit.   I just included it as a file so that you don?t have to search for it.

HAVE A HAPPY AND WONDERFUL NEW YEAR, MARY

Lots of love and hugs.

[MaryRC]

Thank you so much, Regina!  LOL, you caught the part about being fragmented before I deleted it!  I started feeling bad that I had written that.  I came back and edited it, but I'm glad you caught it, because I was feeling very fragmented!

I have tried the EFT a couple of times, and I found that it made me feel better.  It was for something else, so I certainly need to try it for this!  Thanks!

I was about to order Michael's Effortless Success.  Do you think it would be better for me to order the other one? 

I did go to Blackerby's site.  It seemed to me that it was more for children.  I will go check again.

Thanks again!  Love & Hugs to you!

[Regina]

Hi Mary

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. --  Mahatma Gandhi

Would you allow that? No. So, please, keep your dirty feet out of your own mind, too. 

Well, I thought I was losing it today, but I got so angry that I got some things done.  I hate having to lose my temper to get enough energy to accomplish anything.

LOL, you caught the part about being fragmented before I deleted it!  I started feeling bad that I had written that.  I came back and edited it, but I'm glad you caught it, because I was feeling very fragmented!

There is nothing bad in feeling fragmented, angry or what else we can come up with. It's just a call for love. So give yourself a nice cuddle - in any form you like - and enjoy that you got things done. You may ask yourself to accomplish it in a nicer way the next time but in the meantime just enjoy what you have done. 

Yes, you are right Don Blakerby works mostly with children. I just mentioned him because you might have seen the EFT link on his website. If you already know EFT than just go and work with some of Brad's videos. I am an EFT coach myself and from my experience it?s like working with the layers of an onion. We think everything is solved and than life happens and all the BS is kind of back. But it isn?t - it?s just another layer.

Michael?s Effortless Success is great and if you can make it possible join the Solutions Cafe. The 7 Myths of Success are part of the subscription and so much more. Otherwise, yes, go for Effortless Success. Michael explains the procrastination bit in there as well.

Love and hugs

[MaryRC]

Wow!  I regularly walk through my mind with dirty feet.  I guess I'd better stop that!

I've already been working with one of Brad's videos.  I will continue to do so.  It really does make me feel better. 

I can't afford the Solutions Cafe just yet, but I am definitely buying Effortless Success.  I am a visual learner, but I love hearing Michael speak.  He makes everything so clear.  Plus, he tells great stories and has a wonderful sense of humor.

Thanks for being here when I needed you, Regina!  Hugs!

[Jay Budzynski]

Hi Mary


About Don yes his focus is mainly with children- yet from my own personal experience his work, will work just as well with adults- I know this from personal experience- having used many of the strategies to learn how to learn my self- plus a brain is a brain and a strategy is a strategy as long as it does what it says it will do- that what counts.

Jx

[Terri Carey]

Would it help to choose to rebel against procrastination?  A true rebel doesn't like to be controlled by anything right?  That habit is not YOU - it is simply a habit that makes you feel comfortable - it takes 21 days to break a habit? You have 30!!

hugs

Terri

[MaryRC]

Rebel against procrastination?  That is a new way of looking at it!  Thanks Terri!

Jay, I went back and looked at Don's site again.  I read an interesting post about a boy he worked with.  It was good info for me.  Thanks again!

[MaryRC]

I got a lot accomplished yesterday.  I moved bedroom furniture (with help), and I moved a lot of clutter out.  Unfortunately, I didn't sleep too well last night, so I'm dragging today.  When I buy Effortless Success, I need to buy I Can Make You Sleep by Paul McKenna.  I think he was a guest on Michael's show. 

[Regina]

Hi Mary

Sleep, what's that?   
I decided to be gentle with myself and if I would have moved furniture as you did, I would tap myself on the shoulder and would find something to reward myself (no food and no shopping )

Anyway, I just posted a quote in the "Creating the Impossible" part of the forum and thought that this might be interesting for you too. (I haven't seen your name there so I guess you aren't participating and therefore have no access to it.)

Here the quote:

?Just consider the possibility that; thoughts are just thoughts. It?s the power ?you? give to them which dictates how they affect you and make you feel. Just like with TV, (where you can choose what you want to watch and which programmes just to skip past on your way to something better) so too you can choose which thoughts to engage with and which to just pass by. ?  -- Ali Campbell, The Slim Girl?s Book of Secrets

With lots of love

[MaryRC]

Hi Regina!  Thanks for sharing that with me.  I will pay attention to what I'm thinking, because I know that is true about thoughts.

I took a positive step today.  I also belong to the Unclutterer forums.  I posted a topic about my challenge today, along with a link to photos of the clutter in my house.  I've given myself a little over a week to find a place for everything, so that I can move forward with my other plans.  That way I won't fall over things while I'm working!  We are doing projects over there, with deadlines and moral support from the other members.  It's going to be a lot easier to sell things on ebay if I can find them.   

I have made myself a plan for the year.  I have 3 priorities.  One is to sell unwanted items on Ebay.  The second is to begin doing my art again and sell it on Etsy.  The third is to start a blog.

[Regina]

Hey Mary

That's sound good.

By the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and your loved ones.

What will the topic of the blog be? I guess art, but you never know. 
I just found the easiest webpage creater ever which might help you to create your blog.
It's www.webnode.com. Have a look. 

[MaryRC]

Hi Regina!  Happy New Year to you and your loved ones, too!

Actually, it isn't about art, but if I successfully launch the one I have in mind, I might think about an art blog, too!  This blog would be aimed at older people.  I have a specific focus.  I will give you a link just as soon as I post my first entry!

An art blog would be great, too.  As I get into it, I could post some video.  I like watching the art process.  Maybe others would enjoy that, too.

Thanks for the link!  Hugs!

[MaryRC]

LOL @ your avatar, Regina!

Well, I have been busy melting down as I am trying to deal with sentimental paper clutter.  The paper clutter is sitting on the kitchen counters.  I am in another room cleaning and moving stuff around in one of my best avoidance routines! 

[MaryRC]

I discovered something about my sentimental paper clutter.  I found this in a blog I was looking at.  "The trouble is that memories tend to get stuck to things."  This is my problem.  There are a lot of things I just don't remember, but the memory comes back when I look at a related piece of paper.  Most of the memories are good, and I enjoy reliving them, but there are too many of these memory triggers.  I don't know how to manage them. 

Paper clutter is my worst problem, and I feel that I need to conquer it before I can move forward to my other plans.

[Terri Carey]

Can you scan in these paper memories so that the images still make you feel good but take up much less space?  Perhaps making a slideshow of them in a way that makes you feel empowed by the love you have experienced?

[MaryRC]

Hi Terri!  Thanks for your response!  That is something I have been considering, but my printer is slow, and I can't afford one of those fast scanners or a scanning service.  However I did scan an old letter yesterday that is starting to deteriorate, and it looked good. 

Someone at Unclutterer yesterday told me to stop torturing myself.  LOL!  She said to buy a filing cabinet and go at this slowly and enjoy the memories. 

[Terri Carey]

I have special boxes for each member of my family - the trick is they are only allowed one box!
Terri

[MaryRC]

That's a very good practice, Terri!  I wish my mother had done that for me.  Maybe I wouldn't be having such a time now.  Not that I'm blaming it on her.  When I was young and clueless, I should have been more concerned about living my life and less concerned about finding true love.  LOL!

[MaryRC]

I'm feeling pleased.  I made some progress today!

[Regina]

Fab Mary 

[MaryRC]

Thanks, Regina!  That made me smile!