Discovering the 'wow' but...

[MeMaggie]

Hi,




I have also discovered or rather rediscovered what is that I have always wanted to do, what people who know me always said I would be good at. But I never dared to dream, believe that I can actually make it. So I have spent almost 15 years doing various things, thinking each time that this was it. I discovered that I want to finish the book that I started and work with and for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Because I am one of them. I realised I had to experience those 15 years to learn a lot about myself, to be the person that I am today and now I am ready to pass on the message to those ACAS that they can be happy too. Anyways, I am now doing my last year of PhD. It is not related in anyway to what I want to do. I like doing it, but I don't love doing it. I love the teaching part. I want to work on my book. Since I re discovered what is it that I really want to do I have lost quite a bit of interest in my research. It feels like struggle but I don't want to quite. Firstly, I worked hard for it and it took long time already, I still believe that the research and the topic are important. I just would like advice on how to approach it this matter. How can I make this process enjoyable? It requires a lot of time which now I wish I would rather dedicate to begining to fulfill my dream. I know that the intro is far too long and my question is not very clear but I hope someone out there will understand what I mean and will be willing to give me some advice.

Forgive me if my English is perfect but a) I have been writing this in rush and b)English is not my mother tongue :-)

Thank you in advance

[Jay Budzynski]

What do you already find enjoyable in the process?

Focus on that- keep in mind its your last year- out side of doing the Ph'D what can you be doing that will bring a little lightness to your days? make a list do them. find things to smile about and remember them times so when you need a lift you can get some good feelings going and carry them with you.

J 

[lily]

Hi MeMaggi!

Thank you for posting - your message was very moving to read and your English is perfect!

Rather than just answer with my own suggestions you might first want to ask yourself... If I were to know that there definitely is a way to enjoy completing my ph.d. what would it be?  And just see what comes to mind!

What came to my mind was... considering how having a ph.d might contribute to the success of your book project?  Or maybe allowing yourself a small amount of time each day or week to focus on your book.... or it could of course be something else again...

Best wishes with both projects - both sound exciting!

Lesley

[yan80]

Hey MeMaggi

I think you're story is great and one that many of us can relate to in some form or shape. The importance of the question is that you have asked it and now you have given yourself the ability to find the answer.

That doesn't sound like a very helpful answer, as I'm sure you were expecting a list of techniques or tips. But that is something that you can find yourself. You just have to keep asking, experimenting and exploring. Just follow what you know now to be right for you and it'll take you where you want to go.

So i'd suggest just experimenting with a few things. Different approaches. Making games out of your work, or simply trying to apply a new concept to the work in order to make it more fun. There will be a way, it just depends on whether you decide to invest time in finding one.

Best of luck.