advice for a newbie in a new city

[geenadavis]

Hey there,

I am new to this forum! ....I am also pretty new to Michael's work. Recently found him on hayhouse and have been listening to a lot of the archived shows. Also called in about two weeks ago to get some advice on my new apt in nyc.

I've pretty much got everything where it's gonna stay.... but it's SO challenging. And I'm still getting overwhelmed. not so much bc I have stuff to do, but bc I just can't find things. My studio is really small. And initially, I thought this would be totally doable and liveable.... but now I'm already having second thoughts (i just moved in jan 6). I feel like every time I walk in I have something to pick up or put away ( i have to or I wouldn't be able to walk.) I guess I just feel like it's weighing on me and it's making it difficult to do other things bc I feel like this apt is taking up so much space in my mind. (lol.) Physically, though, the width of the space is less than the length of my body when i put my arms over my head.... so I could probably climb to the ceiling like spiderman if I really tried. 

I don't have a kitchen or a bathroom either (it's like living in a dorm)... so I just have an unopened hot plate on top of my toaster I haven't even plugged in on top of my microwave on top of my mini fridge. ....Needless to say, making food of any kind is a project in and of itself.

It's just been hard bc absolutely everything I'm doing now is so new. between the apt itself to getting to and from work to trying to figure out how to do the things I really want to do (acting, singing, dancing) outside of all the other stuff .... and possibly having a life of some kind (although I'm not so sure I can have one at this point!), I've often found myself on the verge of tears!

And intellectually I know that this is normal and that I've been here less than a month.... so I'm trying to cut myself some slack. But I am at odds with myself on how to make this situation work and be happy while doing it.

I was trying to convince myself that bc I feel so bad, it would motivate me to do something else (what, I do not know) so I could move someplace else at the end of july (or sooner) when my lease is up. ...but after listening to a bunch of the hayhouse shows, I'm not so sure that staying frustrated is the best motivator to get me to do "something else."

I'm just not having much fun lately. ...And I haven't been having fun in a long time. I feel like I've been moving forward, but it's all been so tedious. And at this point, I feel like I just don't know how to enjoy this journey. I always feel like I'm working toward something instead of enjoying what i have right now. ...But then, how do i enjoy what I have if I am so frustrated all the time!?

thanks for reading

karen

[Jay Budzynski]

Hay Karen

Welcome to the forum, Michael is fantastic isn’t he, I am here in the UK, and it’s a little dull and rainy here, yet it’s not so cold, which is good, I am in a bit of a rush right now, and will add more later when I am done rushing about, quick question, do you have a window in your apt?  If so you can create the illusion of more space by placing a big mirror on the adjacent wall of the window and ever though you have a cognitive intelligent knowing that it’s not a real second window, the psychological effect is very surprising.

Many years ago I used to feel very claustrophobic and started to play around with ways of making small spaces feel bigger, and using a mirror was one way of creating the illusions of more doors and windows out of the room I was in.

Now all that tightness and feeling closed in, is way back there, in a time before, and it’s just it’s so far away now, that I don’t even see it any more, and just think about all the other possibilities of just feel open and happy.

Well I have a habit of going on with myself, so in the immortal words stage exit left.


Hugs Jay

[geenadavis]

Thanks Jay...

I do have a window..... however, it's A. Facing Another Building (so others ....(lots of others!) can see in if it's not covered) And B. it's behind my loft so there's an obstruction there... And also the wall it's facing is pretty much my door and two shelves (which would subsequently be obstructed by the tower'o'appliances) so there would be no room for a mirror. Oh and the greatest thing about my window is the gate-like thing that slides open and locks closed so if someone chose to run up the fire escape, they wouldn't be able to ransack my room.... lol...

Great idea though!! thanks!

[Jen Waller]

Hi Karen.

Firstly welcome to the boards, *waves*

I'm just not having much fun lately. ...And I haven't been having fun in a long time. I feel like I've been moving forward, but it's all been so tedious. And at this point, I feel like I just don't know how to enjoy this journey. I always feel like I'm working toward something instead of enjoying what i have right now. ...But then, how do i enjoy what I have if I am so frustrated all the time!?

I know you haven't said but I'm going to guess that you would like to have more fun. Now, if I'm wrong just ignore the rest of the post but I thought I'd check that it was ok with you for that to happen and if not is there anything you are concerned would or wouldn't happen if you let yourself have more fun.

I know that you said that you have been listening to lots of Michaels archived show so you may have already have heard him ask a variation of the following question - whats the one simple thing that if you did it will move you away from being frustrated to enjoying the journey? (and its ok to guess the answer)

Best wishes

Jen

[Jay Budzynski]

Hello again

I am wondering if you would like to play game, if yes you need to check out www.emofree.com first and get a copy of the free manual, once you have learnt the basic recipe, I will post the process that I created to install some fun stuff.

Jay

[geenadavis]

...hmm... if I let myself have more fun, is there anything I'm concerned would or wouldn't happen? ...Well, hmph.

After listening to some of the archived shows, I did realize that I feel like I can't be happy until I reach a certain goal or obtain a certain thing... And thinking deeper, I'm not sure that goal or thing or whatever would ever bring about those feelings of happiness bc when I do reach those goals or get those things, I would probably set a higher goal to obtain something different, and in essence, still be unhappy. ...does that make any sense? (I believe that's the good ole perfectionist in me)

So how do I enjoy myself right now.... without feeling like, if I do have fun now, I won't be motivated to move forward... (even writing this down feels silly), but I guess it is how I really feel and is the excuse I use to not have fun!

and I'm having some trouble coming up with an answer to finding a way to enjoy the journey... and move me away from frustration! ..... I can only think "Pray, Karen!"

I'll think more about it...

thanks Jen.

Karen

[Jen Waller]

Here's a thought that may help.

What is it that you are looking forward to later today/ tomorrow? (depending upon what time of day you're reading this).

Now if you are not finding it easy to come up with an answer I'll let you make it up - my only request is that the thought of whatever you are making up puts a smile on your face. It's amazing how repeating this daily can make a real difference (and you may also dedcide to do some of the things you make up - or not)

Have fun

Jen

[geenadavis]

hee hee.... I'm very much looking forward to my voice lesson tonite and I'm starting a 12 week course with Julia Cameron on The Artists Way tomorrow!! yay! 

[geenadavis]

...and Jay, I'm in the process of reading (and applying) the booklet you suggested. I've heard of the tapping technique thru cheryl richardson..... pretty interesting stuff

[Promethea]

Hello everyone,

Geenadavis, I know how you feel (I mean about the chaos at home). I love Michael shows, they are SO inspiring, but when it comes to the everyday tasks I follow Flylady's system (www.flylady.net). I hope it will help you.

Nice forum and great website (and radio show).

[Promethea]

You might find this useful too: http://www.monologueaudition.com/flylady.htm

It's an article titled "Why Flylady is good for actors". Good luck!

[Shutterbug]

Hi Geenadavis,

I like you find myself in a new place and have many concerns regarding being able to move forward, and in many ways I feel that if I don't move forward then I'll become complacent which would lead to feeling of being paralyzed, to thwart this I tend to make the best of the moment as is that is all there is, a thought, a feeling, a desire, I set small goals, I realize that I am capable and deserving of the success that accumulates after reaching the goals even though they maybe small, what matters is they are my goals, I begin to find strength and power in the momentum of change. Sometimes I feel that we second guess ourselves thereby creating and feeding our inner critic. Geenadavis, Think of where you have been, what you have done, the people you have met and know that you are a wonderful individual.