Dear NLP people,
bring on the advise, please!!
I have exactly the same problem, though only with one particular person!! Unfortunatly this person is exactly the one I need to impress and who I want respect from (he is kind of a boss of mine, though not my direct one, but the one who decides my future...).
From day one (7 years ago..) he's been pushing my buttons and I feel he's doing it on purpose, though I know on another level, that he's not. I really respect him as authority and for his knowledge, and I can have a normal conversation with him about work issues and even a fun, social conversation over lunch. But when it comes to serious conversations about *me* and how I'm doing my job and what his plan and my plan for my future in the company is - I always feel like I fail him.
Never EVER do I get a word of approval or praise from him, but he's very open when it comes to critisism (which doesn't happen often, luckily, so I don't even know what I'm basing this "crying" on...) I keep feeling he looks down on me, especially because he upsets me everytime and makes me cry. I always think he must see me as a crybaby who will never achieve anything because she's too soft. He's the coldest person I know and my number 1 candidate who I would like to coach in communication skills, haha (in an ideal world without tears...)
Now here's the good news - today my best friend (who's oddly enough his best friend, too) told me how he had told another person all those good things about me!! How impressed he is how I'm handling my current project, and that I'm studying coaching and that he will support me 100% with HR in finding a new position for me where I can use my coaching skills and gain experience. I got goosebumps when I heard that. Especially because I was already getting worked up because I was planning to have a meeting with him soon to discuss just that and to get some feedback on my current performance and my future...
Why can't he tell me?? I mean it's nice to here good things via third parties, but if he knew what boost it would give me if I would hear it from him directly! Aaarrgh!
I'm sure there is some switch I can use to stop crying, right? Which one is it??