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Author Topic: Red flags vs sabotaging yourself...  (Read 2242 times)
aniinl
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« on: May 07, 2007, 11:39:12 AM »

Is there any trick how you can distinguish the "red flags" from a case of self-sabotage?

I'm not sure if I'm seeing red flags in my relationship at the moment (and will think later, "oh I should have known back then, when this or that happened...") or if everything is just so nice that I'm looking for things that aren't, before I get in too deep and get hurt later....

 

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Michelle Young
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« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2007, 01:33:33 PM »

HI ya Aniinl

Just like the track by Nickelback "Feeling way too damn good" and the lyrics "Coz something's gotta go wrong
Coz I'm feeling way to dam good" ...... Sometimes things feel so good your waiting for the bubble to burst or to find out what the catch is, something cannot be that good, or can it?Huh
Doubt is a very powerful nagging voice that seems to be in the mind, just yabbering away, so you can thrown the relationship away lose all the good times and the happy moments just when its going so good your expecting something bad to happen, or you can sit back enjoy the ride and turn that nagging voice into " I feel Good, so good, so good i got you"

Yunno some of the most wonderful things in life can happen when you shut the negative up, give it sylvester cats voice and then tell yourself that your wonderful......

Love
Michelle

(off dancing round the bedroom now to James brown and I FEEL GOOD)

I am not totally crazy..... some bits are missing
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marksherwood
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« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2007, 01:57:06 PM »

Hi Aniinl,

Not going to get all deep and philosophical about things.

Buy Michaels new book.

Thats all.

Cheers,

Mark
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simone
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« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2007, 02:32:58 PM »

Hi Aniinl,

I am not a coach, but my advice is to listen to the voice within. If it's just a quick hiccup, a random thought, which comes and goes never to appear again, then I would let it go. But if the voice is persistent, I would try to listen and explore it a bit further. Just my 2 cents.

Best,
Simone

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Jay Budzynski
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« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2007, 03:55:59 PM »

Hi aniinl

They seems to be a cycle of events in relationships at points in time, so even though this is a completely, different time, place, location, and person, that you are in a relationship with, if you was to compare it to the time scale and similar types of events that have happened in this relationship to any others you have had, if there is anything that seems and feels the same, then It could be your built it "lets test this relationship" time.

these cycles happen in many different places, jobs friendships, hobbies etc.

If you can follow and match this way of feeling, and being to several other similar events, then is more than likely self-sabotage as we often repeat behaviour cycles systematically.

LJ
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aniinl
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« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2007, 05:06:32 PM »

Thanks guys...

The voice inside just started this morning...  Undecided  and for the past weeks I've been constantly in the James-Brown-I-feel-good-mood Smiley So I can't tell yet if it's just a one off bad thought or not and if I'm sabotaging myself.

The good news is, at least I'm recognizing it and I can study myself :-)

Anja
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