Following Through

[martinwhite]

I'm not sure if this is due to a short attention span or a fear of taking action, but for some reason, I find it really hard to stay engaged in anything even if i know it's a really positive thing.

Examples:-
If I owned, say, 100 books, 10 of them I will have read completely, 70 will be part read (to varying degrees) and 20 will never have been opened despite being several years old. This even applies to interesting, helpful and great books.

I think that PMcK's approach to dieting makes the most sense to me, yet I can't get myself to consistently follow that principle.

I listen to hours and hours of CDs, from people like Michael, Tony Robbins, Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer etc. I NEVER do the follow-up actions (I tell myself that this is because I only listen in the car and I can't stop and write stuff down when in the car).

I fully "get" the stimulous-response thing but still find myself making snap judgements and statements, and especially when totally going over the top with my children.

How is it that, mentally, I KNOW all of this stuff and yet I can't seem to embed it on a consistent basis?



I'm studying to be a Life Coach at the moment and feel really bad about not "walking my talk".

Thanks,

Martin

[Jay Budzynski]

Hi martin

I think in part it comes down to listening to and having to many things to get through at ay one time- I had for a long time pretty much the same thing going on- so what I did was to put everything I a big box- apart from one- book and one tape/CD set- gave my self- 8 days to read the book- and depending on how man CDs/tapes were in the pack- would give my self enough time- to listen to the programme- a lot of the time I would listen to the whole set i about half the time- and get the book read in 3-4 days- as for the exorcises- I would often do them in my mind-  as the programme went along- and world come back to them later in the day- if there was an real thinking needed- I would make my self finish each book before I moved onto the next and slowly over time- got through a  lot of stuff-

so it might be a idea to just focus on one reading task at a time ad the same with the cds/tapes- and see how that works out for you-

I have to say that about 1/3rd of the stuff I had I just got rid off as I felt it was out dated- so you might want to run through what you have and just ditch some of it- 

Jay


 

[happylife]

Hey Martin
I thought I was reading about me!  Having experienced everything you talk about maybe if I let you know what helped me it might be of use to you?

First - I did exactly what Jay suggests - I hid (it had to be out of sight) everything except  just ONE thing that I had decided was worth working on. I also acknowledged that it didn't matter if it wasn't the best book or the right book or the most important, I just chose one that appealed to me enough.

I eventually came to see it like building a house - I knew that I couldn't work on laying the bricks and fitting the windows and doing the roof  all at the same time, or the house would either never get built or be a rubbish house.

Second - I set aside (schedule in my diary otherwise it doesn?t happen) a certain amount of time each day, even it's only 15 minutes (my excuse is being a mum I don't have time) to work on whatever exercise or principle came next in the book, write it down, and really focus on applying it just for that day.  This means it sinks in more than when you just read something.   And in my case, if I don't try to do too much in one day, but just work on one or two principles, they sink in more.  Sometimes I carry on applying things, sometimes I forget all about them, but at least I'm doing some of them.

As it happened the first book I chose was Paul McKenna's Change Your Life in 7 Days - In my case, it took nearly 30!    But I did what Michael always says, I cut myself infinite slack, so 30 days was fine by me and at least I did it and it really did help me. 

I now do that for every new book/CD - I schedule in the time to write and do the suggested things and make sure I can only see that book or CD, and I try to remember that even if I only remember to apply one or two things from a book, it can still make a big change.

Thirdly - You say "I'm studying to be a Life Coach at the moment and feel really bad about not "walking my talk".    Maybe I'm wrong but I expect that most if not all life coaches, if they were brutally honest, would admit that in their personal lives they're just ordinary human beings that sometimes apply what they know and sometimes forget.   I'm sure the same applies to most time management experts and relationship experts etc.
With practice we all get "better" but if you remember the infinite slack thing, you won't feel bad about not being perfect. 

And if I were your client I'd feel more rapport with you because you're human.

Let us know how it goes
Etty
xx

[bhouncy]

happylife has a point with writing down things you want to do. If I don't write things down it is almost like they don't exist and it may be a while before I even think of the task again. As soon as they are on paper it isn't long before they are done.

Maybe a good start would be a motivation strategy. Attaching fun to learning and doing.

[aniinl]

I listen to hours and hours of CDs, from people like Michael, Tony Robbins, Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer etc. I NEVER do the follow-up actions (I tell myself that this is because I only listen in the car and I can't stop and write stuff down when in the car)

You know, I think it also has to do with which of the authors "speaks your language". I listened to Anthony Robbins a lot and was totally enthusiastic while I was listening, but never did the excercises. I read Paul McKenna's Change your life in 7 days and found it great while I read it, but never stopped to do the exercises. I just kept turning to the next page. And then I read Michael's first book and found I did stop to do the excercises, so I stuck with him. The books are all about the same things, more or less, but you have to find the ones that you resonate with.
On the other hand, I could imagine it has to do with the fact your listening to them while you drive. First of all you are distracted because your focus is on the road, plus, as you said, you can't stop to write the important things down.

If think that PMcK's approach to dieting makes the most sense to me, yet I can't get myself to consistently follow that principle.

If that's true I bet you didn't listen to the CD that came with his book! (Probably because it's not really the kind of CD you can listen to in the car ) That's the reason why I liked it so much - you don't NEED to have the willpower or discipline to follow it - if you listen to the trance/hypnosis thingy on the CD for a while, it's in your subconscious and he's done all the work for you! I put the track on my ipod and listened to it when I went to bed and in the train to work in the morning for a couple of days, and out of the blue I lost 3 kilos. I did not pay attention, I did not stop eating chocolate - I did absolutely nothing to "try and lose weight". The only thing I consciously did, was to make sure I get something to eat immediately, the minute I felt hungry. With a full time job, sometimes you don't pay attention to your stomach, so that's the only thing that I "changed". What I notice, though, is that I eat much more salad and greens. I just feel like it sometimes - that never happened before, so this I totally credit to the brainwashing CD
I'm sure if you try it out and just make it your goal to listen to the cd for a couple of days, you will see results!

For the rest, I agree with the others. Focus and making notes.

Anja

[martinwhite]

The funny thing is, I really have tried to listen to it, but I find that after about ten minutes or so, I can't lie still anymore and I get physically irritated - I mean - my legs start to itch or feel uncomfortable. I am then consciously waiting for it to end, or I can't even wait that long. I think I need to perservere with it.

It's now reached a point with my lack of following through that whenever I see an interesting new book, I'm now getting a voice which says "What's the point in buying it? You won't read it all the way through and even if you did you wouldn't do the exercises!" plus I'm trying to watch my spending, so it doesn't make sense to buy something I wonl't read or use!

[Jay Budzynski]

Hi Martin
I wonder if you would be willing to play a little game.
You will need just a few minutes a pen/pencil and something to write on-
First I would welcome you to think about one thing that you did and really enjoyed. And I would welcome you giving that event a key word or phrase-something where if you think about that word or phrase it allows you to bring the whole positive experience.
Now the next bit I want you to do a search- through times in your life when you have made a good decisions and you said in a clear positive way ?YES? and what I would welcome you to do for a day or so- is to tap into the first good feeling and think about as many good decisions- as you that you have already made-
So what you have is a positive anchor and a resounding yes- to making best choice- so what I what you to consider doing is pick something to read/ listen too/ or to do- maybe a house tore- see-your self completing the task- and at the end stepping into the good feeling and feeling that yes- in your very being- then bring that yes and that good feeling back to he her and now- and now do the task for real- and notice how things might feel different.
Once you have do this just a few times- think about bigger task- only what want you to do is stamp your foot on the floor with the good feeling and the yes- in tact- and as you stamp on the fool have a big clear bright confident voice say ?YES? and notice how you move through saying yes I the best way that works for you-

You know what is right and good for you- and you only say yes to what bring you the very best to your world- you can do the same process with ?NO? yet you can work that out-  I your own way-

So you might see your self listening to you cd- and you ca ask your self ca listen to this in comfort and in a way that allows me to enjoy the whole process- now run a mental movie of you listening to your d and having the most delightful time, being relaxed and safe- once you reach the end of the metal movie- step into the good feeling and do the power stamp yes- now bring it back into the here and now- then listen to your cd. And notice t how things could have could have changed.

I hope this opens up a few ideas for you- let me know how things go if you use- any of this.

Jay 

[Donstar]

I think I need to perservere with it.

Sounds like really hard work to me!     what if it was something you really wanted to do?  What if it was ok to do it the way you are doing it?  What if it was ok not to do the follow ups?  (unless you REALLY wanted to!)  I used to listen to a lot of these things too, and never followed up (well, I did sometimes) and then I found that motivation doesn't really work for me...inspiration does.  If I find someone who inspires me, I don't have to persevere with anything, I just get on with it.

I have a ton of books I haven't read/have read part of/should read/intend to read/want to read...  who hasn't?  My way of 'following through' is to do what I feel inspired to do, or what I want to do, and let the 'should's wait til I actually feel like doing them. And also to give myself credit for what I DO...it's almost always more than I think!  I wonder if that's relevant to you too?

And by the way, 'walking my talk' to me means enjoying my life - including the personal development bit!  That's more inspiring (to me and my clients) than the 'push, push, push' mentality that seems to make people stressed, overworked and unhappy!  (just my opinion - if push, push works for you, go for it!  I shall watch from the stands, with my popcorn and a book I actually want to read!)

Love

Donna.x