MNCT 572 - Angling for Happiness

[martinwhite]

This is one of the great paradoxes of life. I can't seem to get this bit right.

I've listened to a lot of Tony Robbins and fully understand, intellectually, why the idea is to create "leverage" by making yourself feel bad enough to want to change. The principle being that the brain does more to avoid pain than it does to gain pleasure.

However this seems to be at odds with the philosphy of "feel happy now", yet this too is an idea that i buy into; that we choose our thoughts, and as Wayne Dyer said "There's no depression, there's only people choosing depressing thoughts over light thoughts". We CAN choose to be happy with our present circumstances if we focus on those things that bring us joy, happiness and fulfillment instead of the other stuff.

My dilemma is: how can I be happy where i am and still want to change? Happiness tends to breed inactivity in me. I really dislike my job, but when I decide to choose to be ok about working here, I tend to find six months have gone by and I'm still here and I've done nothing!

If stress is actually us resisting our circumstances, then any desire to change those circumstances must necessarily result in stress? There must be more to avoiding stress than sitting dumb and happy?

Can anyone offer any additional distinctions that may help me with this?

Thanks,

Martin

[Tim]

Hi Martin,

Reading your post a couple of things occur to me.

From my memory of reading the Tony Robbins book (and it was a while ago now) there were two parts to his motivational strategy. One was the pain of not changing - the push, if you like, the other was the attraction of spending your time doing something that was truly fulfilling and enjoyable, the pull.
To have a successful motivational strategy it's helpful to have both the push and the pull working together. If all you have is the push it's a bit like turning on the hosepipe but putting your thumb over the end - you feel a build up of pressure inside but nothing actually happens; literally no outcome.   

So what?s your pull? What would you really like to make your life about?

Once you've decided that (and for most of us this is the hard part!) then you can start to consider how your current job fits in with this. You then have a choice. You can either feel bad about it, if you really think that this will motivate you, or you can feel good about it because it is giving you the skills / contacts / money that you need to do the things that you really want to do.

Hope this makes some kind of sense.   

Take care,

Tim.

[Donstar]

Hi Martin

how can I be happy where i am and still want to change? Happiness tends to breed inactivity in me.

Just curious if that's true?  Are you really 'happy' or sweeping it under the carpet?  Also curious about how well being unhappy works as a motivator?  I tried it in the job I hated for 10 years, and it never really helped me!   

Right now, I am really happy with what I do.  My life is great!  Does that mean I don't want to change?  No sir!  I want to grow...in fact part of what makes me happy is growth.  The difference to me was when I heard Michael talk about the difference between motivation and inspiration.  I stopped trying to 'motivate' myself, and started getting inspired. Now I am happy so I am creative, positive, optimistic, enjoying life, open to opportunity and possibility...and this all makes it so much easier to 'change' or evolve.

What are 3 really good reasons to stay in your job?  (doesn't mean you have to do it!)If someone was forcing you to leave, what would you miss?  (I still miss creating management information reports!!!  I never thought that would happen!)  If you knew you could leave anytime you wanted, when would you go?  What inspires you?

Love

Donna.x