I'm not my brothers keeper' so how can I set him free and myself

[elephant eater]

how do I move away from my alcoholic brother who is struggling to look after 2 young children alone 3 yrs and 7 yrs old and an alcoholic violent wife....I'm getting bitter and twisted, love him and kids deeply, can't leave them, been doing this for 30 years.  Things so bad I went to social services, but matters just got worse.  I've Done self help +++ NLP courses etc and also believe I am seeing what I am projecting, but cant seem to turn off the projector, and all of this is actually a strategy i use ..........i can't have what i want.........peace, joy, love, happiness, fun (I have read Micheals book )
I am cutting myself off from all the things in my life that I have had family, friends, work.....
it all feels so bad.... I feel doomed unless I get away and break the chain completely but scared for kids safety, please let me know what you would do in this situation or any comments at all. 
thanks

[C]

Hi

I don't know what country you're in but try www.al-anonuk.org.uk and if you're not in the UK then nearly every country has AlAnon in one form or another. They are a group for the families of alcoholics and are not affiliated to any other groups or organisations whatsoever.

With best wishes

C xx

[elephant eater]

Thanks C
I rang but only got an Answerphone.  I Will do it again tomorrow.
Thanks for answering it meant alot to me.
X

[aniinl]

Hello elephant eater,
what a fantastic, cool, positive name you have chosen here

When I read your post, all I can think of is Byron Katie. Have you checked her out?
www.thework.com

Best,
Anja

[Tomwalked]

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There is a solution... right...?

you know there is a solution, you cannot be sensitive to all of this without knowing this is so.

you want to be coming from a good place to find it.
where can you go for that?


take a breath, give yourself some peace, be gentle with yourself, be loving of yourself and ALL involved.

and know and accept that you can do this for yourself...
this may or may not allow your brother to do the same...
you cannot "do" for others, they have to "do" for themselves,
Be ok with the outcome.

If there is physical violence in the home, do everything you can to get the kids away from it and safe.
make sure the kids have an easy way to get ahold of you in emergencies, be particularly loving and supportive to them, let them see that there is another way to be in the world.


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