control Vs influence Vs neither

[Resli Costabell]

Hi Michael,

Wish I'd been sitting there with you and Nina, esp as you chewed over what's
within our control. 

I believe that how I feel and the thoughts that pass through my mind are
pretty much within my responsibility and control.  My inspiration is some
Buddhist monks and Indian gurus, whom I believe are capable of emptying
themselves of thoughts and feelings during meditation.  I'm not there yet.
But I'm a lot better than I used to be at refusing to indulge thoughts that
drag me down, and at managing my state.

What happen to me and what happens in the world also are at least partly
within my control.  That's because I have made all sorts of choices that got
me to the right place at the right time, the wrong place at the wrong time,
and all the other various combinations of "right/wrong/place/time".  I also
create, promote or allow most of the events in my life.

And as for what happens in the world:  I can influence but not control
others.  But some of what happens in the world is what *I* do in the world.
And I never know how much I may have changed the world.  So yes, I have
control over at least a tiny piece of what happens in the world, and I have
influence over even more.

Go ahead, call me a control freak!  But seriously, since I decided to take
responsibility for how I think and feel and what happens in my life, I've
been getting better results.  I'm probably also easier to be around, because
I whine less.

All the best,
Resli

[Michelle Young]

I think being in control of your own mind is a good thing, you never know if its safe in someone elses hands 

i think, that a good thing is flexibility, allowing your mind to be open to move, you can be in control and yet go into unfamiliar territory, for that is where you learn new things.
My control is to keep as open minded as possible and thats not always easy, but its something i try to do.. Looking at things from outside the box gives you a greater perspective and i find that sometimes to maintain a clear mind so i can focus on something, i become the 3rd party, detach emotion and look at things from a non emotional point of view, that way i am not thinking about how its making me feel but the good clean hard facts and exploring from there...
Regarding clear mind state, i just take the emotional side of me and make it step out, then i have a free mind / clear mind.... if i feel i want to relax to a deep stage / state, i first detach the emotion, then i can go inside myself and become more aware of whats happening inside and slowly calm each place into a relaxed state, its like i slowly put everything to sleep, imagining each part ina perfect deep sleep...

I also give myself commands when i am doing this, that my body will take its time to restore, to repair, to rejuvinate, to file what it needs to file, to clean what it needs to clean and to bring back with it a feeling of pure calm, yet have the energy, the intelligence, the flexibility to be called upon when it needs it.


Namaste
Michelle