Getting a name out of my head

[Sophie]

Hi

I have been with my partner for three years now and all is well and happy.  I've found a good one this time!

However, I'm getting upset because I catch myself calling my partner by the name of my ex-husband.  I managed to get away from my ex (not easy) and divorced ten years ago and haven't seen him since.  My ex was a huge negative influence on my life, both physically and emotionally, a complete control freak and a compulsive liar, and we were together for sixteen years during my late teens, 20s and early 30s.  When and since I did the McKenna NLP courses I have got rid of loads of 'stuff' he left me with.

Since divorcing I spent a few years living on my own (which did me a power of good) and occasionally dating but nothing serious.

I was fine with my new(ish) partner's name for a long time and noticed the first time I called him by my ex's name was in a situation of serious stress when my cat was having her first epileptic fit.  I then called him the wrong name a couple more times when stressed.  Lately I have caught myself doing it in completely unstressful situations.

I'm not sure if my partner has even noticed because I usually manage to change the name half way through saying it.  I have however referred to him by the wrong name to other people.  The two names are very different except for both being short.

I don't know if the fact that my sister's husband has the same name as my ex and she refers to him a lot has got anything to do with it. 

This is really upsetting me as I want this name out of my head in the same way I've managed to get his voice and influence out of my head.

Please has anyone got any good ideas/exercises I can do to help?  I've been wanting to post this for a while now but have been too embarassed.

Many thanks.

Sophie

[Jay Budzynski]

http://web.archive.org/web/20051223130810/www.paulmckenna.com/techniques_relationships_get_over_breakup.html

[Sophie]

Hi Jay

Thanks for that.  I did do that a while ago but it didn't help on this issue.

Do you or anyone else have any other ideas as I've got to sort this out before it drives me mad (and probably my partner too!)

PLEASE HELP!!!

Sophie
x

[Jay Budzynski]

Hi Sophie

Ok I am going to suggest something a little counter intuitive- Now I have to stress that It my feel a little uncomfortable- yet it's only for a short time- so will be worth it-

imagine that you are standing in front of a big white wall-  and you are holding a pen- the wall is about 60x60 feet  not only do you have a pen you have a whole host of art supplies- paints rollers etc.

Now I want you to imagine writing your ex,s name in tiny letters right in the bottom of the left hand corner-look at it and just laugh- then do it again- write out the name in tiny letters nest to the first name- look at it- and again just laugh- and repeat this a number of time- Now Imagen that you and your partner as standing in front of the wall and you each take time to write a letter of the name- and imagine you both laughing at the name- and repeat this a number of times- now I want you to get creative- using all the art supplies- that you have in your imagination- write the name using colours of all kinds and after each run make the name bigger- untill it fills the whole wall- and after each work of art stop look at it and just laugh-

Now once you have worked up so the name fills the 60x60 foot wall- just have it "white out" then draw or paint the name using all the art stuff you can imagine having- and each time you reach the 60x60 foot   size look at it laugh white it out- and repeat this until you can't get the name to pop up with out a laugh being there first-

J

[peterblythspain]

Hi I tend to think things up in secconds so try this one if you still have the name

write the name in card and cut the letters up separating them ...then mix them up so many times so the name dont fit!!!!! and it gets so confusing to your memory that you just cannot put the name together again it just mixes into gabbidegulp             
good luck
swish each time you do a nonsense name

peter