Hi Kristen
I hope your sister won?t mind this coming from a male- first part is a little bit of healthy male bashing- we males can be just completely un-evolved at times- and when we are young we can just plainly be tactless and stupid- well that can happen when we are older also- yet we tend to grow up- in part- sometimes- so one thing I think would help would be Marshall Rosenberg ? Non-violent Communication- which I have attached a text document to for you to check out it?s a full overview of NVC- it?s a little naughty of me- yet I think having a healthy happy teen is worth my time- so I am willing to brake a few rules-
One of the common themes- that teens have to deal with is creating boundaries- what is and what is not acceptable - it is said we train people how to treat us- and this comes down to what we what out of a relationship- with others- in this sense I am using the word relationship (in the platonic sense) as two or more people sharing the same space- NVC is one of the most down to earth communicational tools, and will teach the user to talk from the heart- and to feel safe in doing so-
You can only watch out for your sister the best you can- as long has she knows she has people looking out for her- she will learn and grow- and become strong- yes being a teen is full of ups and downs- self-esteem is one of them things that also grows- over time, and as you share you time with her- you can point out what is special about her- and knowing that as she looks back on this time from say a year from now or two years, or five years- this little spell will be just a vague memory-
One cool thing- is with we just feel our emotions with out giving them a name- just notice, noticing how we hold on to the energy of the emotion in the body- does it have a shape? Is it light or heavy or does it feel warm or cool- is it in just one place- or does it fill a larger void in the body- yet with out giving the emotion a name it?s just energy- our energy- so how can we use this in a way that is useful? If it?s just energy then if we was to change the way it feels in the body- what would be a more vibrant and useful way of feeling? And holding a new vibration in the body- and if we can change form one type of emotion- then what emotions create a powerful self-confident us- where do we need this feeling? And if it was in that time and place how would that now- allow us to be capable and safe in the world?
I could carry on- yet I think you get it- that self-esteeming is a matter of choice- I remember a few years a go- I had a friend who was really terrified of going on- roller coaster?s- yet we used to go the Blackpool Pleasure beach a few times a year- now I enjoy roller coasters- and used to miss out- on going on the ride as often as I wanted- so I would make allowances- and go on all the smaller rides- with my friend- until the last hour of the day when I would go on a few the big rides- well sometimes I would get to go on the big rides more than once- which was a real treat- yet I always felt a little fed up- with my friend- as we where meant to be enjoying the day together- so I decided I was going to do something a little sneaky- so we could have a lot more fun more of the time- when we came back to the fun park- in the future- being NLPifyed one day I made a phone call to my friend- and we had a nice general chit chat- well my friend likes the old black and white laurel and hardy films- and it just so happened that there was one- on the TV as we were chatting- well I pointed this out to him so he flipped on the channel as well- and we had a giggle while we were talking so the Blackpool trip came up- in our little talk- and my brain became a little create- every time we said the word Blackpool I would point something funny that was happening on the laurel and hardy- film- creating an anchor to laughter and Blackpool now knowing about the anchoring and chaining them together-
I stated the process of associating ?Laugher-Blackpool-Roller coaster? into one anchor- then using a little slight of mind- something along the lines of each and every time before- that time you feel nervous- you can remember- this firing the laurel and hardy- anchor and over and again before that time- looking back from afar feeling good and noticing, that you feel at ease- in that time in the future- knowing that you can look back and enjoy the memory of feeling this good feeling when every you feel the need to- well we finished our call- and a week or so later we went back- to the pleasure Beach- well as always I put up a little fuss- about my friend being a big baby and not going on the roller coasters- well- my friend did something very unexpected- he jumped in the line of the one of the roller coasters- and he was laughing- for no apparent reason- and said he felt it was- time that he gave this rollers coater ride a go- well he went on the coaster- and he had a grate time- the only thing was he went on all the big rides- that day with out any fear- and we had a fantastic day- now even today my friend does not know- why that day happened the way it did- all I know Is I was looking out for my friend and came over his life long fear of coasters- just after a 10 minutes phone call- well today I am a lot more refined in how I was able do what I do- yet please don?t think- reading this will give you lots of ways to deal with your sister- yet you never know-
I hope you can help your sister and I hope your sister begins to shine- and please for give my rambling- I get carried away sometimes.
Love Jay
NVC FILE
http://www.humyo.com/F/478027-139819785
