interesting point how do you find out what it is that you really want

[peterblythspain]

Just mulling this one over tried several nlp exercises , its easy to do things your good at and even challenge   things you dont know much about

but how do you actually find out what you Really want

comments please
thanks
Peter

[Elese]

... its easy to do things your good at and even challenge things you dont know much about

but how do you actually find out what you Really want

comments please
thanks
Peter

Thanks for this question Peter.  i don't know the answer for everyone, but in my case, I've come to be able to tell the difference between what feels like 'authentic happy wanting' and what doesn't.

That has been a process in itself and I'm pleased I can say that I know what that feels like for me. 

At the same time, I've also paid attention to a) not being wedded till death do us part to things that don't work b) to try things knowing they may or may not 'turn out' but they feel fun to do c) to take that things that fail without seeing myself as a failure d) to turn down stuff that doesn't feel right in the gut. 

This has freed me to experiment, fall over, and just keep learning.

That is a good process for me, since what I want to play with keeps evolving.   

Also, funnily enough, plenty of times in my life I have not gotten what I 'really, really, wanted' but that turned out to be a good thing.

But that's another story! 

love,

Elese

[peterblythspain]

Thanks   this seems to be an answer when you know what you want ..but as Margaret Thatcher said....i will ask the right honourable person again.............how do you find what you want if you dont know what it is that you really want !!!! pardon the pun     hehe

xx love peter

[clq]

Sonia Coquette said in Creating you Hearts Desire that we need to stop
trying to figure out what we ultimately want because we can't possibly know . . .

we can only focus on what we want today, this week, this month, at the most
this year and just work with that . . .

takes the pressure off . . . though it doesn't necessarily take away the longing to WANT to figure it out  . .  .

[peterblythspain]

Thanks Sonia a good point and well worth accepting .however in coaching the question first asked is what do you really want
interestiung that after some considerable time there have been only 2 rerplies
maybe many are good at helping us to get what we want but not sure on how to help us to find out what it is

xx peter
ps Michael how about this one ?

[Jen Waller]

Hi Peter,

A thought that strikes me is that I believe that there is no one particular "right" method that is set in stone for this. Personally, I'd suggest playing and finding the one that is working the best for you.

Now, I'd guess from you're post that you have already asked yourself directly what it is you really want and the answer wasn't clear then. So, at the risk of sounding obvious, I suggest doing something different, asking a different question or using a different approach.

Playing with different time periods has already been mentioned ie what would I like to do now (Without sounding like a description from a time travelling TV show like "Doctor Who" you could consider that time is just a series of moments - or in The Doctors case, adventures.)

Maybe it's about starting by picking one area (or areas) of your life and describing, on a scale of 1-100 (with 100 being fantastically amazing) what 100 is like for you - you can always start further down the scale and work up with your description.

Perhaps its about finding the right person for you to work with or a book/other resource to spark some inspiration - if only someone wise had written a book called "You can have what you want", jam packed full of things to play with

I suspect that by playing with different thing and perhaps letting go of any immediate need for an answer, that you'll have a different experience with the situation.

Jen

[Wendy Batten]

Hi Peter,

It is my opinion that we don't really "find out" what it is that we really want.   I believe we get to make up or just choose what it is that we really want. 

I know that I sometimes get stuck in the choosing process because I want to make the "right" choice, --and then I remember being stuck is not choosing anything, which is a choice too.

If I am lucky enough to notice I am stuck,  I can then ask myself what do I really want to want.

If whatever it is that I want turns out not to be what I really want then I pick something else to want.

How does that land with you?

love,
Wendy

[peterblythspain]

u8ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

yes   but ive tried all methods suggested and still the question arises when i ask myself


thanks all just an interesting topic
i have the books mentioned but most stuff helps us achieve what we want not what it is

i am currently working on a subject with Bill cummins from www.theboothbyinstitute.org
  but i know although thats one type of work i will really enjoy and be good at ......ummm

[Wendy Batten]

  Hi Peter,
I feel like I am missing something that you are trying to communicate.
Would you be willing to say more?
love,
Wendy

[peterblythspain]

yes wendy ask away or send me a message  etc

Love light and blessings Peter

[RickPearce]

Hi Peter,

An excellent question Peter. I look at how you ?actually find out what you really want?, like this -

The word ?want? normally implies something that is lacking. Like ?I?m hungry and I want to eat?. You wouldn?t say, ?I really want to live in a home on the waterfront? if you were already living there. But you would say, ?I want a nice pontoon boat to cruise the river?, if you didn?t have the boat yet.

So, of course there are really millions (and millions!) of things you ?lack?. But the word ?want? indicates both the lack and the desire for the thing you lack. You aren't likely going to say, ?I want to have three children? if you can?t stand kids (unless you already have 4 or five :-). But you might well say, ?I want a million dollars?. However, why would you say, ?I want a million dollars?? Why not 2 million? Why not a billion? It is well and true that you both lack and desire a million dollars, but you probably also lack and desire 2 million or a billion. Yet, at any rate, you don?t really desire the stack of bank notes or the quantity of gold that is represented by whatever amount you want - what you really desire is what you could do with the money and what it would do for you.

Perhaps you "want to eat? to both satisfy your hunger and enjoy the experience of eating. You may even enjoy cooking. Perhaps you want a boat to cruise the river because the times you rode in your friend?s boat, you found it both relaxing and a great bonding experience. You?d like to be able to share that with your friends and family. Perhaps you want a million (or billion) dollars to be able to help the building of wells and schools in third world countries, etc.

So the question to ask is: ?What ?things? do I now lack, but that the obtaining of them would facilitate the greatest amount of pleasure/joy/happiness in my life and the life of others whom I care for". That is how you'll find out what you really want. And what you really want will continually evolve, along with your life experiences and growing values.

Peace,

Rick

[nyamen100]

Hi Peter,
I remember reading in one of his books or hearing Steve Chandler of Club Fearless say that if you can find out what it is that lights your fire, the activity that when you engage in it simply stops time for you, i.e. to the point where you become unaware of the passage of time because you are so deeply engrossed and happy in whatever you are doing, to the exclusion of everything else, then that is what you want to be doing with your life! The kind of activity that you would be happy to do even without being paid for it! The point being that if you can also earn money from that activity then you are bound to succeed since you will invest the time in it that you need to because you love doing it anyway!
So I guess my understanding of how you find out what it is that you really want has to be reflecting on what it is that you really love to do and answering Steve's question: If I could drop everything and just do this one thing, what would it be?

Nyamen

[peterblythspain]

well turning out to be a good debate !!!! thanks
lack is a very powerful word to use...

  i have found that i have retired ........ughghghghghghgh dont want to do that so i will now go back to doing what i really enjoy and am very good at ...that is assisting people to get where they want to be  and also some to get well ............

luckily through a phone call from Michael  Neill  from USA to Spain for 1 hr  i found Bill Cumming   and his what one person can do   www.theboothbyinstitute.org of   which i am now in training from Bill in order that i can go back to doing what i love as above ...........without the restrictions from the police force (25 yrs was enough) 

so thanks for all the interest   and we shall see what the next chapter holds

another reason for keeping the forum running Michael..
love light and blessings
peter