On September 1st, 1990, I taught my very first course to 15 people in a small classroom at the Camden College of English in Chalk Farm, London.  Nearly twenty years and tens of thousands of students later, I realize that while much of what I had to say at the time was positive and useful, if I could go back and do it again today, there are only two things I would build my message around:

1. Happiness is your nature.  It is not the fruit of something you do; it is the essence of who you are.

2. Discovering your innate happiness and well-being is the key to creating what you really want in the world around you.

Here’s how I wrote about it in You Can Have What You Want:

Does this mean you need to put your life on hold while you go looking for happiness?

Absolutely not.  In fact, it’s in the midst of the noise of your life that you’re most likely to discover your own inner quiet.  And isn’t it nice to know that no matter how crazy things seem right now, you’re only ever one thought away from peace?

Have fun, learn heaps, and remember:

Happiness leads to success a heck of a lot more often
than success leads to happiness!
With love,

PS – I’ll be coming to London at the end of September…

…and would love to see you at one of our live events!

September 25th – Creating the Impossible One Day Event

September 26th – Financially Fearless One Day Event

September 27th-28th – Coaching Magic Training

Hey, all -

I’m doing two pre-recorded radio shows today between 9am – 11am pacific (Noon – 2pm eastern; 5pm – 7pm UK)

The first will be on mastering fear, based around today’s tip; the second will be on “having and being enough” with Jen Louden as my guest.

Because these are pre-records, we will not automatically get callers, so if you’d like a bit of coaching live on air, here are the numbers to phone:

866-917-9112 (toll free)
001-760-918-4340 (outside the US)

PLEASE SHARE THIS INFORMATION AND CALL IN – I’D LOVE TO TALK WITH YOU!!!!

with love,
michael

One of the primary models we teach on Supercoach Academy is “the three levels of coaching”.  Each level corresponds to a different place to focus attention and a different style of intervention.

• At level one, we are primarily concerned with performance, and our focus is on eliciting peak performance states and triggering them at the appropriate times.
• At level two, we are working with the horizontal dimension of life, sharing strategies for success in disparate areas ranging from career and money through to relationships, social action, and health.
• At level three, we are dancing directly in the vertical dimension, opening up the space for a new way of seeing the world and in so doing, transforming people’s experience in every area of their lives.

One of the issues that comes up most frequently with my coaching clients and indeed human beings in general is fear – and again, there are three levels at which fear and fearlessness can be usefully explored:

Level One:
What specifically are you afraid of?

One of the things I’ve learned is that people can learn to fear pretty much anything, and over the years I have spoken and/or worked with people suffering through everything from a fear of raccoons to a phobia of wobbly Jello.

Since we are born with only two “natural” fears – falling and loud noises – all other fears can be handled quite quickly on an individual basis through psycho-physiological interventions ranging from NLP to TFT to EMDR to the “baby bird technique” (see this short video for more thoughts on being thrown into the deep end of life and learning that you can swim!)

The problem with this approach is that the learning rarely generalizes – we overcome our fear of raccoons but Jello still terrifies us; we move past our fear of asking someone cute out on a date but cold calling sales prospects still seems completely beyond our grasp.

Level Two:

How are you using your fear?

When we look a bit deeper into the phenomenon of fear, we see that there are only three reasons why anyone would ever actually want to be afraid – to protect themselves, to motivate themselves, or some combination of the two.

Since protection and motivation are powerful drivers, often people hang on to unnecessary and even unpleasant fears because of what they are afraid would happen if they didn’t.

For example, someone who is afraid of asking for what they want might be attempting to keep themselves safe from a feeling of “rejection”; someone who is afraid of being poor is often attempting to motivate themselves to engage in more wealth-producing activities.

Here’s the problem:

• “Protective fear” often creates side-effects that are more debilitating than whatever it is you are attempting to protect yourself from.
• “Motivational fear” often backfires, creating so much discomfort that you drop out of the game rather than continuing to push yourself forward.

And even though we can see that our fear based “strategies for success” aren’t working, we’re reluctant to give them up for fear of what might happen if we did. So to intervene at this level, we question our beliefs about the necessity of fear and find alternative ways to protect and motivate ourselves.  Once these new ways take root, the “purposeful fears” we had been clinging to become easier and easier to let go.

When we understand fear in this way, it becomes considerably less scary. But there is an even deeper level of understanding which makes fearless living an even more immediate possibility…

Level Three:

What is Fear, Really?

Have you ever wondered where fear goes when it’s not there anymore?  Or where it comes from in the first place?

One of the most interesting things about fear is that it always seems to either come from something outside of us (like a raccoon or cold calling or Jello) or from something inside but separate from us (what my mentor George Pransky calls “psychological bogeymen”).

Yet when you look closely, you’ll find that every fear you experience (outside of a clear and present danger) is actually a reaction to a thought. It’s not “false evidence appearing real”, as the acronym suggests – it’s thought appearing real, in the sense that we react to the thought of a raccoon biting or dentist drilling or person shouting as if it was actually happening to us right here, right now.

Steve Chandler uses the analogy of a young child drawing a picture of a monster on a piece of paper and then running out of the room in terror. We create a scary thought in our mind, and because we do not recognize ourselves as its creator, we are run ragged by that thought, doing all sorts of things to avoid an imaginary consequence that we ourselves have constructed.

The exact moment the child sees that the monster is just a drawing and can’t hurt it, the fear is gone.  And the moment the child sees him or herself as the creator of the drawing, the very same thing that was so frightening becomes fascinating.

And the same is true for each one of us. The moment we see that our own deepest, darkest fears are just a thought, we open up a space in our minds for our innate health and wisdom and well-being to come through.

There may well still be things to do in the world – but we will do them based on what is actually wanted and needed in each situation, not as a knee-jerk fight or flight response to our own unrecognized thinking.

And the moment we recognize that we ourselves are the creators of our own experience, this very same world that was once so frightening becomes an endlessly, wonderfully fascinating place to be.

With love,

PS – Experience the three levels of coaching and more…

Get a taste of transformative “supercoaching” in action in Hertfordshire, UK this September – for more information and to register, click here.

My friend Steve Chandler and I have just finished the first weekend of our Financially Fearless mastermind, and I was chatting with my teenage son about what the people on the course were learning.  When I told him that in one exercise that lasted for just one hour, the 18 participants had made over $84,000 between them, he was gobsmacked.

“Do you mean in real money?” he asked.  ”Is that even possible?”

When I assured him that I did indeed mean in “real money”, he asked how they’d done it, and I outlined the three ways to make money that I am about to share with you.  But I also pointed out that making money had not been the real point of the exercise.

What was important was bringing people’s fearful thoughts to the surface in a fun and friendly atmosphere so they could look at them in the bright light of consciousness and see if they had any substance to them.  (A small hint – they don’t!)

And when there is no fear (i.e. “fearlessness”), creativity, joy, and fun are the inevitable result.

While he thought that was very “coachy” of me, he still seemed more curious about the three ways to make money, so I shared a bit about what had happened with the group:

1. Planting seeds

Many people seem to think of the game of sales like putting coins into a slot machine – you make your offerings (put in your coins) and if you get lucky, sometimes the machine pays out.  If it doesn’t, you either keep putting in more coins in hopes of “hitting the jackpot”, or you move on to another machine.

But when you approach sales from a place of joyful service, you realize that making offers is more like planting a garden than gambling.  It’s not impersonal. Instead of dropping coins into a machine, you are working with a living system.  And instead of focusing on what you might get back if you’re lucky, you have to take some time to think about what you would like to grow.  Plant a tomato seed and if it takes root, you’ll wind up with a tomato.  If you don’t like tomatoes… well, that might not be your best plan!

Ask yourself questions like:

• Who would I love to serve?  How would I love to serve them?
• What would be the most powerful, fun, and useful thing I could do for this client or customer?
• If I dedicated my life to making this person/company’s life better, what is the biggest difference I could make for them in the smallest amount of time?

When service-oriented questions are asked from a place of joyful inquiry, the answers are inevitably creative, fun, and bring the seeds of opportunity with them.

2. Picking fruit

Some of the largest financial gains people made in the hour were by going to existing clients and customers and creating wonderful offers designed especially for them.  Since they already had a preexisting service-based relationship with these people, they didn’t have to “water the soil” by establishing their credibility and ability to add value – they just had to find the differences they would love to make  and the way they would most like to make them.

When the “fruit was ripe” – i.e. there was a real fit between the offer and the person and the timing was right – the deals could be done on the spot.

How did they know the fruit was ripe?  By reaching out, asking questions, and sharing from a place of well-being that would be unaffected by either a “yes” or a “no”.

3. Exchanging chickens

Money was originally created as a means of exchange that would simplify the barter process.  Instead of my having to carry chickens around with me that I could trade for baked goods or clothing or shelter, the invention of money means I get to sell my chickens for money and use the money to get the cupcake, sweater, or house.

So once I identify “my chickens” – i.e. those goods or services I would love to offer that will make a positive difference in the lives of others – I can now exchange them directly for cash.

How do you identify your “chickens”?

Because they meet at least one of two criteria:

a. You enjoy doing or creating them and do/create them really well
b. Other people value receiving/using them

Your “chicken” might be:

• Making cars run better or making homes immaculately clean
• Facilitating the exchange of goods and services (i.e. “sales”) or facilitating the appreciation of beauty and wonder (i.e. “art”)
• The ability to design a rocket ship or the ability to kick a ball into a net

After sharing these ideas with my son and giving him examples of what people had actually done, he asked me to explain the “coachy” bit to him again.  What is it that freed people up to access the kind of energy, creativity and fearlessness that led to all that money being made?

While there are many ways to answer the question, perhaps the simplest is this:

When you can clearly see the difference between what money is good for (i.e. facilitating the exchange of goods and services) and what money is terrible at but often used in an attempt to create (i.e. security, peace of mind, and happiness), you stop trying to make money to make yourself feel better and realize that the better you feel, the easier it is to make money.

And when you begin to see that good feeling is part of your essential nature and not something that can ever be truly impacted by how much or how little you have, the game of money becomes considerably easier to play.

Here’s how I wrote about it in Supercoach:

Have fun, learn heaps, and may all your success be fun!

With love,

PS – I will be offering a one-day version of Financially Fearless in London in September…

For more information and to register, click here.

Thursday, July 8th at Noon Pacific/3pm Eastern/8pm UK

The Real Purpose of Intimate Relationships

Many people believe that the purpose of our intimate relationships is to make us happy. Others teach that we are in relationship to learn, grow, and evolve as human beings. But what if the real purpose was simpler than that, and even more fun? Michael explodes some of the myths of intimate relationships and offers coaching on having what you want in every area of your life!

You can listen to the show this and every Thursday – simply go to hayhouseradio.com at Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on the button marked “Listen Now”.

Did you miss our most recent live show on MAKING THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE? For a limited time you can listen to it here. You can also download and listen to any of my shows at any time as part of your subscription to the new and improved Solutions Café – click here for details!

You can now listen to the show from your iPhone!
Simply go to the Apps Store to download your free Hay House Radio App and within minutes you’ll be able to listen to great shows from Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson, and of course, me!

The other day, I was sitting in a hot tub, frustrated at what I was perceiving to be an extended plateau in my own personal and spiritual development. It felt as though I hadn’t had a new insight in ages, that my work was in danger of stagnating and that I had nothing new to offer myself, my clients, or the world.

As I was wallowing in my own insecure thinking, I suddenly had a brand new thought – one I could not recall ever having crossed my mind before.

“What if,” my thought went, channeling my inner Jack Nicholson, “this is as good as it gets?  What if I never get any smarter, any wiser, any more evolved mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually?”

I began to enumerate my many remaining faults, from shoddy listening to sloppy administration to an overwhelming fondness for high-carb foods and occasional lapses in my dental hygiene regimen.

And I realized something interesting. If I never got any better as a human being than I am right now, I could live with that. In point of fact, I’ve been living with it for years, but I’ve been battling against it, sure that I was only one short burst of willpower away from becoming the man I’ve always dreamed about being.

In You Can Have What You Want, I wrote about my early struggles with living up to an image of perfection:

To my surprise, what I realized is that the battle for a better me had continued raging quietly in the background throughout my life. Only the battlefield had shifted over the years, from trying to make myself more like I thought I should be to trying to make myself more loving and accepting of my failure and unwillingness to do so.

So here’s the conundrum:

How do we reconcile these two seemingly opposing forces?  Is acceptance a desirable gateway to happiness that brings us deeper and deeper into peace and the present moment, or a seductive siren luring us into our own comfort zone where over time we will silently drown in a morass of boredom, lethargy, fear, and sameness?

What I’ve come to realize in my more reflective moments is that I really don’t need to know the answer to this or any other dilemma. I don’t need to resolve the unresolvable, work on myself or not work on myself, practice acceptance or cultivate “divine discontent”.

There is a power beyond us that seems to work through us in the direction of health and well-being – a sort of psycho-spiritual immune system that will bring a return to peace the moment we step out of the way.  I wouldn’t even think of trying to heal my own cut finger; I needn’t try so hard to heal my wounded psyche.

Because perhaps it isn’t wounded at all. Perhaps, just perhaps, I only think it is.

Have fun, learn heaps, and enjoy your week!

With love,

PS – We will be accepting registrations for two more days on…


Our most popular online program is underway for July, and you have until the 7th of July to join in!

A daily ‘conversation’ with Michael is grounding, inspirational and maintains that focus on happy, effortless creativity. These emails are his encouragement, and a reminder of the strong source and resource that is cheering me on. Whether I am in need of a little calm, an energetic boost or a practical tip there are always some wise words to hear! I love the forums as it is a chance to connect with others – who share a similar ethos, whatever their goal. It also provides the opportunity to meet, share skills and ideas – and maybe even the possibility of all sorts of joint ventures. - Anne

For more information and to register, click here.

Members of the Solutions Cafe can register at no cost here.!
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Thursday, July 1st at Noon Pacific/3pm Eastern/8pm UK

MAKING THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE

To celebrate the launch of another “Creating the Impossible” program, join Michael live for this exploration of what it really takes to make your most “impossible” dreams come true!

To reach Michael live on air:

Inside the US (Toll free)
1-866-254-1579

From the UK/Outside the US
001-760-918-4300

You can listen to the show this and every Thursday – simply go to hayhouseradio.com at Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on the button marked “Listen Now”.

Did you miss our most recent live show on CHASING BUTTERFLIES? For a limited time you can listen to it hereYou can also download and listen to any of my shows at any time as part of your subscription to the new and improved Solutions Café – click here for details!

You can now listen to the show from your iPhone!
Simply go to the Apps Store to download your free Hay House Radio App and within minutes you’ll be able to listen to great shows from Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson, and of course, me!

Our most popular online program is about to begin on the 1st of July, and if you sign up before June 30th you can participate in a special live call with Michael to help jump start your impossible goal!

“Like many entrepreneurs, I’m a one-man-band at the moment. To have had Michael’s ‘thought for the day’ in my email and the overwhelming positive support from others in the forum (as well as an action buddy I plucked out from the crowd in the forum to work with more closely), it’s transformed my feeling of ‘going it alone’ to suddenly feeling a group effort contributing to my daily successes. It’s filled my sails with wind! Thank you!”

- Chris H, London UK

For more information and to register, click here.

Members of the Solutions Cafe can register at no cost here.

Last week, I was speaking with someone about participating in our upcoming Financially Fearless Mastermind when he asked if I really believed in the possibility of miraculous transformation – that is, a seemingly instantaneous and complete shift from one way of being in the world to another.

So many examples of the incredible life changes I’ve witnessed (including my own) came to mind that I had to slow myself down to choose just one to share.  In the end I went with the most recent, which while far from being the most dramatic, points to what’s possible when someone gets a deeper insight into how our experience of life is created on a moment by moment basis…

Frank (not his real name) is a businessman from Europe who just began coaching with me towards the end of May.  During our first session, we talked about the illusory nature of thought and how easy it was to become hypnotized into believing that the seemingly constant noise in our heads is important to pay attention to and act upon.

Because I went away on holiday the day after our session, I didn’t speak with Frank again for nearly three weeks.  When I came back, he asked me how I’d managed to get him to stop biting his fingernails after nearly 30 years of trying.

Somewhat confused, I reviewed my notes from the session and found that not only hadn’t we spoken about his nail biting, I didn’t even know it had been an issue for him.  Yet I did have an understanding of exactly how a life-long habit could completely disappear without any effort whatsoever – in other words, a complete transformation (aka “a miracle”) could take place.

Here’s how I explained it to him:

Frank went on to say that not only is he no longer biting his nails, he is now truly enjoying both his work and his life (which only a month ago he did not).

Does that count as a miracle?  Would it count if it happened for you in your life?

The beauty of the transformative coach approach is that it is not so much dependent on the skill of the coach as it is on their level of understanding and the innate health, wisdom, and well-being of the client.

And if you feel like you are spending your life running from dragons, isn’t it nice to know that you’re never more than one thought away from peace?

Have fun, learn heaps, and may all your success be fun!

With love,

PS – Supercoach Academy 2011 is coming!
To be one of the first to learn more, enter your information here!

One of the most popular tips I have ever written was entitled “Have an Average Day!”. It was reprinted in the Utne Reader and the Irish Journal and a number of other publications around the world. It forms the basis for the sixth session of my book Supercoach, and I have received more mail around it than anything else I have written, often from teenagers, college students, young adults, and sometimes even their parents. I think the reason it speaks to so many people is that they recognize the truth in it – that despite all of our cultural mythology to the contrary, happiness leads to success a heck of a lot more often than success (in the achievement-oriented sense of the word) leads to happiness. Striving and struggling to succeed won’t get you more of what you really want out of life anymore than eating cookies will make you feel loved and whole. It’s a cheap imitation – a poor substitute – and it takes you away from the true wonder and joy that is always on offer and never more than one thought away.

So I hereby make this official declaration:

June 22nd is International “Have an Average Day” Day!

That doesn’t mean don’t go to work if you work – it just means take the day off from trying so hard to be exceptional, brilliant, stunning, and amazing. The truth is, you’ll have better days, and God willing, you’ll have worse ones. And since today is the only day you have any guarantee of, you may as well enjoy it.

Spread the word @ www.haveanaverageday.org