“Could a book be the key to eternal joy? LAURA JACKSON asked its author Michael Neil to turn around the lives of two readers.

I curbed my panic with silly words

Louise Walker, 34, is a graphic designer from North London

THE PROBLEM
I had my first panic attacks as a teenager. As an adult, they are made worse by the stress of work and life in general – I have been feeling low every day for a long time.

The attacks come on mostly when I’m-outside. I am taking medication to prevent-the attacks but wish I wasn’t.

The-panic attacks have a huge impact on my relationships. To hide my lack of confidence, I put on a-front which makes men see me as the life and soul of the party, but that often means I end up attracting the wrong sort of man.

Also, meeting men in public places such as-bars and clubs is impossible. I would love to meet Mr Right and eventually have children but I know the panic attacks are stopping me meeting the kind of man I could share my life with.

MICHAEL’S SOLUTION

There are techniques that can reverse the negative thinking associated with panic attacks. To start, I asked Louise to give me-two of the silliest words she could think of. She picked wiggly and insidious.

We replaced the words ‘panic attack’ with ‘wiggly’ and substituted the out-of-control feelings associated with them with ‘insidious’.

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We then talked about how many times a-week Louise has a wiggly, what it was about wigglies she found scary-and how, when she began to feel insidious, she would have a wiggly.

The purpose of this is to introduce good-feelings into a bad situation. We also-practised deep breathing to-relax.
I then taught Louise “spinning”. Think about something that makes you feel angry, sad or fearful. Notice where in the body the feeling starts and where it moves to. Does it go-up or down,-left or right? Imagine the feeling is spinning and notice the direction in which it is moving.

Next, imagine pulling the feeling out of your body and turn it upside down so that it’s spinning in the opposite direction, and imagine it being your favourite colour.

Now pull the improved feeling back into your body, continuing to spin it. The faster you spin it the better it will feel. So when you feel the old feeling you can reverse the direction of the spin and take control.

THE VERDICT

Within minutes, Michael had me laughing about my panic attacks for the first time in my life. Replacing the feelings associated with my panic attacks with silly words seemed simplistic but helped enormously.

Michael asked me to imagine that I was having a panic attack and to describe what happens. I saw myself on a pedestrian crossing, wearing my sunglasses. As I imagined having the attack, Michael made me practise what I would do to prevent it. I had to smile and breath correctly and think of a happy event.

The idea of the visualisation is to make-friends with my panic attacks. Michael also-suggested I leave home without my sunglasses, which I’ve come to-associate with my attacks.

Using Michael’s spinning techniques, I-imagined the feeling of panic as a lurid lime green colour which changed to a beautiful blue shade. Putting the lovely blue colour back into my body felt amazing. During the exercises, I felt very strong and, with practise, I will be able to handle every stressful situation.

I haven’t had a panic attack since the session with Michael. In addition to doing the workshop, I’ve been reading the book to pick up further happiness tips.

I learnt to control negative thoughts

Catherine Eade, 40, is a writer. She lives in-Brighton with husband Mark, 40, a buildings planner, and their children, Jasmine, 10, Eliot, eight, and Isabelle, six

THE PROBLEM

Initially, I wanted to see Michael for general tips on feeling happier but during the session we started talking about my relationship with my husband.

Mark and I have been together for 11 years and have three children. Mark is lovely but over the years we’ve had lots of stresses. For example, I suffered post-natal depression and Mark has had to deal with a lot of issues with illness in the family and is currently commuting four hours a day. Also, my father died last-year and since then my feelings can easily spiral into despair.

I’ve always been a-“glass half empty” person-and I feel I’ve brought that thinking to my relationship. Mark, however, is very cheerful and I want to learn how I-can bring his attitude into my life.

It’s hard to have a relationship with someone who is miserable so frequently. I react strongly, I’m quick to blame and I’m critical; I would like to change these things about myself.

MICHAEL’S SOLUTION

Most of the time, the things that lead to Catherine feeling bad, are-not directly to do with her relationship.
Catherine dwells on-things which means that one small moment of annoyance can-cause hours of pain. When someone says or does something, it’s up to you how you react – you can either let it go, or spend hours feeling unhappy about it.

Catherine has developed a negative pattern of behaviour, but she can change. She needs to recognise that she doesn’t need her husband to approve of her to feel happy.

Also, she needs to stop thinking that you should each put 50 per cent into a relationship and discover “the 200 per cent relationship” where you both give 100 per cent.

I suggest she takes full responsibility for her marriage for a month. I find that as you change, your partner will respond by changing too.

I also want Catherine to stop using her inner voice so negatively. Nearly everyone has a collection of these inner voices and Catherine needs to turn the negative voice around and say, “Thank you for sharing that” or “Shhhh”.

THE VERDICT

Michael has turned my thinking around. He taught me to recognise when I am upset and to make a-conscious decision about how to handle it in a positive way. Although it seemed like a straightforward piece of advice, it was one-I-needed to-hear. Michael also showed me a neuro linguistic programming (NLP) technique called “anchoring”.

This involved touching my elbow and asking me to think-of a moment that made me happy.-Then I-had to imagine happy thoughts as a colour spreading through my body. The result – it felt like pure joy was rushing through me. Now if something upsets me, I can press my finger and thumb together and recall that happy moment instantly.

Michael has also made me realise that I-have to take 100 per cent responsibility for my marriage. I now understand that if-I’m feeling particularly down, I’m simply experiencing a set of-feelings and thoughts that may not necessarily have any bearing on my life at the time nor reflect the truth about my relationship with my husband.

I am going to try to think positive, happy-thoughts during the next month and-see whether putting my all into my marriage makes a difference.

Realising that the more you practise being happy the more likely you are to be happy, marked a big shift in my thinking.

After the session I came out feeling really happy. My-husband and I went away for a romantic weekend where we got along brilliantly.

So far, Michael’s tuition has had a massive impact and I hope I will carry on-feeling this good.”