Are You a Busyholic?

While there are no support groups for ‘Busyholism’ (let’s face it, we’re all too busy to attend the meetings :-), join Michael this week for a fun exploration of how you can slow down your life without giving up on what you want!

To reach Michael live on air:

Inside the US (Toll free)
1-866-254-1579

From the UK/Outside the US
001-760-918-4300

You can listen to the show this and every Thursday – simply go to hayhouseradio.com at Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on the button marked “Listen Now”.

Did you miss our most recent live show on The No Suffering Rule? For a limited time you can listen to it here. You can also download and listen to any of my shows at any time as part of your subscription to the new and improved Solutions Café – click here for details!

You can now listen to the show from your iPhone!
Simply go to the Apps Store to download your free Hay House Radio App and within minutes you’ll be able to listen to great shows from Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson, and of course, me!

How was that? Does the world seem a bit different than it did a few moments ago? Do you feel more peaceful or relaxed?

One of the things that most people are striving for in one way or another is a quiet mind. Books, audios, and courses abound promising to teach techniques for achieving inner peace, reduced stress, less worry, and peace of mind.  Yet curiously, many of these programs seem to add to the number of shoulds, ought to’s, musts, and have to’s that fill our already noisy brains.

The distinction I have found most useful in relation to all of these ideas came from the theosopher Syd Banks, who pointed out that there is a profound difference between the act of “meditating” and the state of “meditation”.

Meditating is an activity which at its best guides people into a state of meditation – the inner stillness I am referring to as “a quiet mind”. However, if you have ever struggled to maintain a meditation practice (or as I have done, made yourself laugh at the irony of getting mad at the people who are “disturbing your meditation”), you probably know that it’s all too easy to get caught up in the activity at the cost of the state.

(My favorite illustration of this distinction came from my friend Steve Chandler who was speaking at a major corporation about research that showed most people experienced their greatest moments of insight in the shower. After the talk, which was extremely well received, one of the heads of the company came up to Steve and asked him “How long should I get my people to shower each day?”)

Chances are that some of the most profound experiences of stillness, inner quiet, and peace of mind you have experienced in your life occurred far away from the meditation pillow. Walking in nature, sipping a cappuccino, looking out over the ocean, and communing with a cat have all been known to induce a quiet mind, yet the simple secret behind all these activities is this:

The nature of your mind is quiet; the nature of your being is well.

So the fastest way to a quiet mind is not a particular practice, whether spiritual or secular; it is simply to realize the nature of mind itself.

Of course, if your mind is spinning away at a million miles an hour right now, trying to sort out the world, your life, and everyone in it, that’s probably not so much a comforting insight as an annoying one.

“Oh, I see, all I have to do is realize the nature of mind?  Why didn’t anyone just say so? I could’ve saved myself years of practice, not to mention thousands of dollars on books, medication, and courses…”

But stick with me a few moments longer. If the nature of your mind is quiet, then there’s nothing you need to do in order to “quiet” it.  Just let it be and it will return to quiet, all by itself. That’s different from trying to “stop thinking” or even “watching your thoughts”. It’s simply allowing enough space in your life (and in your head) for the “thought-dust” to settle, and then resting in the peace that naturally arises into that space.

Can meditation, exercise, walks in nature, long showers, and communing with cats help? Sometimes. But if you notice that you’re spending more time trying to do self-care than time feeling cared for in yourself, why not just take a few moments out right now to enjoy the experience of being alive?

Worst case, you’ll feel a little bit better and enjoy yourself a little bit more; best case, you’ll drop straight into the natural quiet of your mind and drink deeply from the well of your being.

Have fun, learn heaps, and to quote one of my favorite fridge magnets:

May you always be blessed with walls for the wind,
A roof for the rain, a warm cup of tea by the fire.
Laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
And all that your heart might desire.?

If you are looking to make your living by making more of a positive difference in the world, click here to apply and for more information.

The “No Suffering” Rule

Many people spend the majority of their lives in pursuit of results – career results, financial results, relationship results, and more.

Join Michael live this week and learn how to implement one of the most useful “rules” in the game of life that will both reduce your stress and surprisingly, assist you in creating more and more of the results you want in the world.

To reach Michael live on air:

Inside the US (Toll free)
1-866-254-1579

From the UK/Outside the US
001-760-918-4300

You can listen to the show this and every Thursday – simply go to hayhouseradio.com at Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on the button marked “Listen Now”.

If you missed last week’s show on Debunking the Myths of Success with Barbara Sher? For a limited time you can listen to it here. You can also download and listen to any of my shows at any time as part of your subscription to the new and improved Solutions Café – click here for details!

You can now listen to the show from your iPhone!
Simply go to the Apps Store to download your free Hay House Radio App and within minutes you’ll be able to listen to great shows from Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson, and of course, me!

What follows is not a trick question:

Would you rather feel exhilarated, grateful, humble, inspired, resolute, compassionate, and content, or…
fearful, sad, worthless, jealous, angry, overwhelmed, and bored?

More to the point, would it surprise you to realize that there was only one difference between the deeper feelings on the first list and the uncomfortable emotions in the second?

One of the many gifts we are given as human beings is the gift of thought, and specifically the ability to imagine things that have not yet happened (and may or may not ever happen).  Used one way, imagination allows us to create new possibilities and acts as a stepping stone to creation.  Used in another way, it allows us to create feelings of worry, insecurity, and dread in our bodies as we envision all sorts of imminent and eventual disasters in our minds.

The same thing that allows an engineer to design an airplane allows a passenger to imagine that airplane crashing; the same creative element that we use to envision a happy marriage can be used at other times to envision our partner straying and that self-same marriage crumbling under the strain.

In short, the only thing that gets in the way of our experiencing our deeper feelings on a regular basis is the emotional contaminant of insecurity.

Here’s how the misuse of imagination (to create insecure feelings in the body) turns deeper feelings into uncomfortable emotions:

Think about it – when you are feeling grateful for what you have in your life, you feel wonderful; add in thoughts about how it’s all going to disappear (or is already gone and will never come back) and you get to feel miserable and despair.

Admire someone that inspires you and it may well encourage you to find that same strength, beauty, or resourcefulness inside you; add in insecure thoughts about how you’ll never be like them and you’ll find yourself filled with jealousy and self-loathing.

Happy and content in your marriage?  Add in some worry thoughts about how the excitement and passion you once had is gone forever and watch that contentment turn into boredom faster than you can begin taking your partner for granted.

So what do we do about insecure thoughts?  If the consequence of insecurity is the contamination of the deeper feelings we all long for and the creation of the emotional states many of us strive to avoid, this would seem to be a pretty important question.

For me, the answer is not in trying to change our behavior or even to control our thoughts, but simply to deepen our understanding of how the whole mechanism works.  When I know that feeling emotionally grungy simply means that my thoughts are headed in the wrong direction and my imagination is in negative overdrive, I can take some time out to let my thinking “settle”.

I don’t have to fix my life, quit my job, dump my partner, or go into therapy – because no matter how long I’ve been worrying myself into an emotional mess, I’m only ever one thought away from a deeper peace.

Does that mean it’s easy?

Not always.  I still get caught up in my own insecure thinking from time to time, and in some ways I’m writing today’s tip as a reminder for myself.  But the more I look for a deeper understanding of how I’m creating my experience of life through my thinking, the more insight I get and the more freedom from the effects of those thoughts I seem to experience.

And when I look behind the content of those thoughts to their source, I occasionally glimpse that space within which thoughts arise and fall.  And in that space, I feel both “the peace that passeth understanding” and “the understanding which bringeth peace”.

Have fun, learn heaps, and may your week be filled with insight, laughter, peace, and joy!

Regular readers of my tips know that I don’t promote a lot of other people’s stuff, but when I do it’s because I’ve actually read, listened to, or worked with them directly and I value what I experienced.

Subliminal persuasion expert Eldon Taylor has written a sort of spiritual autobiography that’s coming out this week called “What Does That Mean?”, and it’s both fascinating and thought provoking.  Eldon’s upbringing was far from typical for someone who’s helped as many people as he has through his work, and while there is much to chew on here for the spiritually-oriented, personally developing reader, I actually think this one is worth reading for the anecdotes and interstitial stories (including the one about what would happen if Jesus and the Buddha were speaking at a conference… :-)

You can order you copy of the book here and receive some special bonuses including the Myth of Happiness.

Debunking the Myths of Success with Barbara Sher

This week she’s REALLY coming on… :-)

For nearly forty years, Barbara Sher has been sharing her unique brand of no-nonsense coaching through her bestselling books, tapes, and seminars. This week, join Michael and Barbara as they debunk some of the most common myths of success and learn what it really takes to have more of what you want in your life!

To reach Michael live on air:

Inside the US (Toll free)
1-866-254-1579

From the UK/Outside the US
001-760-918-4300

You can listen to the show this and every Thursday – simply go to hayhouseradio.com at Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on the button marked “Listen Now”.

Did you miss our most recent live “Valentine’s” show on The Uncertainty Principle? For a limited time you can listen to it here. You can also download and listen to any of my shows at any time as part of your subscription to the new and improved Solutions Café – click here for details!

You can now listen to the show from your iPhone!
Simply go to the Apps Store to download your free Hay House Radio App and within minutes you’ll be able to listen to great shows from Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson, and of course, me!

Although that particular show never got made, two things about the incident have always stuck with me:

1. How Paul had been able to see real value in something which I would have dismissed as inconsequential because it was “just a few guys joking around over dinner”.

2. How cool it was that less than 24 hours after coming up with an idea, it was already being made manifest in the world.

Years later, my coach Steve Hardison explained this phenomenon to me with a distinction from the world of computer programming called “event-action” – that is, where a specific event (in this case, an idea for a TV show) automatically triggers a specific action or set of actions (in this case getting on the phone with a producer to pitch the show).

While in a computer program you can specify the gap between event and action and it will happen automatically, when it comes to us human beings, we get to choose the gap each and every time – and the length of that gap can have a profound impact on how things turn out.

Here’s the rule of thumb:

The less time between event and action,
the greater the power the action will have.

I like to think of it like a countdown timer on a quiz show.  If you answer the question within 15 seconds, you get full points; 16 – 30 seconds you get 3/4 points; 31 – 45 seconds you get 1/2 points; and 45 seconds to a minute will get you 1/4 points.  After that minute is gone, you don’t get any points for that particular question even if you know the right answer.

When it comes to creating things in our lives, the gap between event and action – that is between when you get an opportunity or idea and when you act on it – is a bit “looser” but no less significant:

When you act on an idea or opportunity immediately, there is an energy around that action that is infectious, as the candle of your inspiration lights up everyone around you.  The longer you wait, the dimmer the candlelight becomes, and the less inspired the action tends to be.

That’s not to say that you have to leap before you look – your initial action may involve researching the viability or implications of the idea or opportunity that has presented itself.  But the shorter the gap between event and action, the more energy, momentum, and impact your actions will have.

Have fun, learn heaps, and the next time you get lit up by an idea or opportunity, share your light with others as soon as possible!

Here’s an excerpt from my reply:

As there is so much fear around money in our culture, particularly evident over the past 18 months or so of economic uncertainty, I wanted to use today’s tip to expand on this point.

What makes money scary is the idea that whether or not we have it (and how much of it we have) really matters.  And if that were true, all the behaviors that most of us think of as “normal” around money would make perfect sense.  After all, if our survival, well-being, and self-worth were dependent on our bank balance:

• The majority of our time (at least 8 – 10 hours a day, 5 days a week) would be spent in the pursuit of making money
• Our education system would be designed to train children in the skills they will need to make money as adults, and higher education would be designed to prepare young adults to make even more money
• Once we had some money, we would do everything in our power to protect it from outside threat
• Those people who were unable or unwilling to succeed at the money game would drop out and blame themselves, others, or the game itself for their failure

You would also find (in a world where the amount of money you had really, REALLY mattered) that there would be a number of well-meaning people who genuinely wanted to help those who had less, and their strategies would include:

• Teaching people how to get by on less – where to get bargains and how to negotiate better deals
• Teaching people better skills for financial management and accumulation, including budgeting, saving, and investing
• Teaching people better skills for financial creation, including creating proposals, selling, and marketing

Does any of this sound familiar?  Here’s the problem – with ALL of it:

It doesn’t matter how great our strategies for success are if they’re designed to help us solve problems that don’t really exist.

The fundamental question in life is this is whether we live in an outside-in world, where what is happening in the world around us creates the thoughts and feelings we experience within us, or an inside-out world, where our experience of what we see around us is created by what’s going on inside us.  Which is the reflection and which is the light?  Which is the echo and which is the source?

If the amount of money you have (or don’t have) at the moment is genuinely the source of your well-being (or distress), everything we have talked about so far makes perfect sense.  But if money is just another shadow on the wall of Plato’s cave, then the game of money is just a game without any real stakes whatsoever.

Imagine the following scenario:

What would that actually be like?  Chances are if you were able to quadruple your money you would be excited in the moment, but at the end of the night after turning in your chips you would forget all about it.  Similarly, if you lost it all, you would likely be disappointed – until you remembered that it was all just a game and the real payoff was already in your pocket.

Now take this a step further – what would it be like to play the money game knowing that everything that really counts – your well-being, happiness, love, and self-worth – are already yours to keep?  After all, you were born with them, and the only thing that can ever take you away from them is a thought.  There is nothing of true and lasting value you can get from playing the money game that wasn’t already yours before you started playing and won’t continue to be yours after the game is done.

You are playing with the house’s money.  There is nothing real at stake.  And consequently, you can play fearlessly and with a sense of ease and fun.

That doesn’t mean you won’t take the time to learn the rules of the game and it certainly doesn’t mean you won’t get caught up from time to time and forget that it’s just a game.  But you’ll probably find yourself spending less and less time worrying about it and when you do decide to play, you’ll play with the kind of freedom from fear and greed that shifts the odds dramatically in your favor.

Have fun, learn heaps, and may all your success be fun!

With love,

Please post a review to the US Amazon site in preparation for our launch in March!